Class-Action Suit Against God Pays Out 45 Extra Seconds Of Life To Every Creature
THE HEAVENS Calling it a historic victory for all who have been victims of the Lord’s negligence, lawyers representing the planet’s estimated 20 quintillion animal inhabitants announced Tuesday that a class-action lawsuit against God would pay out an extra 45 seconds of life to each creature. “While no amount of extra time on this Earth can compensate for the many grave indignities He has inflicted upon His creation, we are nonetheless thankful that our clients will finally see some justice,” said lead attorney Landon Burke, who announced that anyone who believed they were owed restitution by God could reply to the notice they received in the mail or sign up online to receive their supplemental 45 seconds of life. “Less than a minute may not seem like much, but when you add it up, you are talking about a payout of almost 30 trillion years, a record judgment in a case of this kind. This is a h
Despite Mass Shootings, Americans Love of Guns Endures
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Despite Mass Shootings, Americans Love of Guns Endures
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FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) In ABC30 s segment, Education Spotlight, Action News Anchor Landon Burke will talk with Merced County Office of Education (MCOE) officials about some of the biggest topics in education.
Camp Green Meadows has been a North Valley fixture for almost 60 years. Landon Burke spoke with the principal of the camp s outdoor school, Bob Bassett.
He discussed the program s benefit to local kids and how they re getting by in the pandemic.
Landon: Bob, so first of all, give me a little bit of background. What is Camp Green Meadows?
Bob: We are about a mile and a half from the southern entrance of Yosemite. We re at 5,000 feet. There s a little bit of snow around us right now that s leftover. And we are an outdoor residential science school, so kids, mostly sixth graders, come up to us. They live with us for a week and we teach them science, using the forest as the book, as the classroom. So instead of going, open your book to page 75, we re going to learn about decom