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RACHEL WILKERSON MILLER, HOST: This is NPR s LIFE KIT, and I m Rachel Wilkerson Miller. I m normally over at Vice writing about interpersonal relationships, and today I m here on LIFE KIT to talk about attraction.
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WILKERSON MILLER: Typically, when we talk about attraction, we think about the butterflies we feel, a crush we re eyeing, a longing, whether someone is our type. But attraction isn t just some automatic feeling out of your control. It s something you can question, cultivate and learn from.
I find I m better more relaxed, generous, compassionate in my relationships when I take care of myself first. When you re unconditional loving towards yourself, it makes it easier to extend that same grace to others. Dear Therapists is a podcast that has helped me gain that deeper, more nuanced perspective on myself and other people. I first learned about it from one of its hosts, Lori Gottlieb, when I interviewed her about a very similar resource: Her book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone . Dear Therapists , like Maybe You Should Talk to Someone lets you step inside actual therapy sessions without going yourself. Gottlieb and her co-host, Guy Winch, record therapy sessions with people who write in about challenges they re facing (affairs, estrangement, stress, etc.). You get to hear the session, and Gottlieb and Winch offer a set of action items the person can take in the next week to improve their situation.
The Perils of Social Distancing
Credit.Alexandra Bowman
By Marissa King
Reading Marissa King’s “Social Chemistry” during a pandemic is an unsettling experience. King, who wrote her book well before Covid-19 hit, details the dangers of not meeting in person: “After two months without an in-person gathering, feelings of closeness between family members dropped by more than 30 percent. … After that, friendships go frigid.” She writes of the positive effects of brief moments of “high-quality” connection in public spaces: “Spending a couple of minutes casually interacting with a stranger or barista can make us as happy as spending the same amount of time with our romantic partner.” And of the power of touch: “While we often think of hugs as a way of catching colds, they can be surprisingly good at preventing them.” As companies like JPMorgan Chase reconsidered office space altogether and Dr. Anthony Fauci called for the end of the handshake, it’s hard not to r
HYGGE
Start the new year off right with some Winter Reads about health, happiness, and Hygge. Hygge is a Danish concept meaning a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.
âAmerican Cozy: Hygge-Inspired Ways to Create Comfort & Happinessâ by Stephanie Pedersen. With overscheduled lifestyles, Americans can t always find time for the people and things they love. Enter American Cozy, which uses the Danish phenomenon of hygge to bring coziness and ease to readers homes, work, and lives.
âThe Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your Peopleâ by Rachel Wilkerson Miller. Miller, senior lifestyle editor at BuzzFeed, defines showing up as the core of creating and maintaining strong meaningful bonds with friends, family, coworkers, and internet pals.