Tweets of the week
Tweets of the week
The annual Autocorrect Convention has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumferences. Daniel Edison (@DanEdisonComedy) February 25, 2021
In the ‘70s Sister Sledge used to drive around in British cars. Their favourites were the Austin Music and Cortina Trap. Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) February 25, 2021
Norway sounds like a Scotsman refusing to do something. Rob (@ Bankrobber ) February 26, 2021
I m not saying my workmate Stu is annoying but we ve started calling him Stfu. Persona Non Grata (@pearofdestiny) February 25, 2021
My Grandad invented the swipe card which opened a lot of doors for him. Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) February 25, 2021
I was in charge of cheese and biscuits last night. I am 47 years old. pic.twitter.com/nh5t8UxdUK
19 Feb 2021
NEW DATE: The comedy shows planned in Barnard Castle by Jenny Eclair has been re-arranged
THE ongoing lockdown and uncertainty as to when restrictions may be lifted has forced the rescheduling of some comedy shows planned for Barnard Castle.
Jenny Eclair’s entire UK tour, which is heading to 60 venues is being rearranged and her visit to The Witham is now pencilled in for Friday, December 3.
Organised by the Funny Way To Be comedy club, all existing tickets are still valid for the new date and there are a few left.
The show is based around the fact that the comedienne has hit 60 – but, as she points out, is still younger than Madonna.
Tweets of the week
Tweets of the week
Been snowing for 2 days, but it can t afford to settle in London. Richard Vranch (@richardvranch) February 9, 2021
not one banksy since captain tom died. coincidence? Rondelle Hobbs (@RondelleHobbs) February 11, 2021
The #SuperBowl is great, but the Hyperbole is a billion times better. Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) February 7, 2021
Personally I don’t like French Food, but then it’s horses for courses. Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) February 6, 2021
When I found out the amusement park was taking photos of me on their rides without my permission I was fluming. Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 8, 2021
Pronounce the christening like Christ , to make it sound like a horror movie.
Tweets of the week
Tweets of the week
Yes, I do get a high on brake fluid. But I can stop any time I like. Ian Power (@IHPower) January 25, 2021
Last year I was diagnosed with attention something something Craig Deeley ️ (@craiguito) January 29, 2021
Everybody has one book in them and that’s why I’ve had my appendix removed. Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) January 28, 2021
There’s a porcelain basin with a plug hole sitting right outside your front door.
Let that sink in Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) January 29, 2021
Very much enjoyed Robert Graves’ account of how the Romans invented the model of computer data storage in which the digital data is stored in logical pools on multiple servers, “iCloudius”. Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) January 27, 2021
In the UK it’s starting to feel like America has reneged on our suicide pact the second after we downed our kool-aid. Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) January 20, 2021 He’s pronounced dead
My mouf ihf fo fuuh oh bifcuits #crumblebrag Alice R Fraser (@aliterative) January 16, 2021
People used to be shocked when I explained that my children were made out of hair.
Raised a few eyebrows, I can tell you. GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) January 20, 2021
RIP Foggy from Last of the Summer Wine. You will be mist. Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) January 17, 2021
Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: I m gonna need more carrots.