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Tweets of the week
Who called it Indian Variant and not Vindaflu?! Tez (@tezilyas) May 25, 2021
I’ve been vaccinated by a splendid nurse called Doreen Hutt. She told me her friends call her Hutt the Jabber. I was laughing so much she had to hold my arm still to get the needle in. Peter Graystone (@PeterGraystone) May 27, 2021 I was told my grandad served on a mimesweeper during the war. Shouldn t that be a minesweeper? I don t know, he d never talk about it. Ian Power (@IHPower) May 27, 2021
Any room can be a panic room if you re in it and your phone rings.
The grisly truth about S Club 7
Tweets of the week
Tweets of the week
I bet someone has got a Spotify playlist called Indie & Variant Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 18, 2021
They re not quite as bubbly, wholesome and fun when you realise the S in S Club 7 stood for Seal . Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) May 21, 2021
My Uncle was found dead in a vat of Tippex. The Police say there’s no suspicious circumstances but I’m beginning to suspect a cover-up. Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) May 20, 2021 Listen old man, I’m gonna ask you one more time: did you or did you not put a soup bowl on my wife’s head? pic.twitter.com/ELA0NmvG2V
Tweets of the week
Tweets of the week
Just voted. Turnout low and polling station staffed entirely by bewildered primary school children. Make of that what you will. Bob Servant (@bobservant) May 7, 2021
I gave my ballot paper an entire tray of Ferrero Rocher. I think I might have spoiled it#PollingDay Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) May 6, 2021
I once broke up with a girl for doing a May the 4th be with you joke. I did it the next day though, and called it revenge of the fifth. Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) May 4, 2021
I knew my ex gf was going to dump me so i set up a profile called Add Profile on her Netflix account and 3 yrs later i’m still watching
Tweets of the week
Tweets of the week
Just voted. Turnout low and polling station staffed entirely by bewildered primary school children. Make of that what you will. Bob Servant (@bobservant) May 7, 2021
I gave my ballot paper an entire tray of Ferrero Rocher. I think I might have spoiled it#PollingDay Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) May 6, 2021
I once broke up with a girl for doing a May the 4th be with you joke. I did it the next day though, and called it revenge of the fifth. Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) May 4, 2021
I knew my ex gf was going to dump me so i set up a profile called Add Profile on her Netflix account and 3 yrs later i’m still watching