Dear Care and Feeding,
Is there ever a time when telling a preteen about a parent’s lack of child support/refusal to get a decent job is appropriate? My ex and I share an 11-year-old daughter. My husband and I moved halfway across the country a year and a half ago for a rare and great job opportunity. I have paid to fly us back to visit her dad about every three months, with one longer span when I took her on a holiday trip instead. As my ex only ever had minimal visitation rights, the transition was not super difficult, with the exception of when he cries to her about not seeing her.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My teenage daughter, like most teenagers this year, spent a lot of time on social media engaged in conversations about race, social justice, and activism. In general, we’re happy with this; she is getting a worldview-expanding experience, and she’s been actively engaged in trying to create change at her high school. She is certainly more culturally aware than my husband or I ever was at her age. The problem is that she’s fixated on getting a Black friend. Her school is 80 percent White; there are a few Black students who tend to be friendly with all students but in a close-knit friend group of the other Black students (which is understandable). My daughter has mentioned wanting to go to a more diverse school or summer camp so she can “get a Black friend.”
Dear Care and Feeding,
My 21-month-old is fantastic in a lot of ways, but he is fiercely physically independent, incredibly physically capable, unusually tall, and improbably strong. He can be cuddly, and we’ve done pretty well with gentle touching, but for any of the many physical tasks that he doesn’t like, including dressing and diaper changing, he turns into a monster. The worst is tooth brushing. He somehow has all of his baby teeth already, so we really do need to brush for real. I’ve tried multiple kinds of brushes and pastes, silly songs, brushing mirror baby’s teeth in the mirror (he loves mirror baby), and taking frequent breathers so he isn’t overwhelmed and gaggy. Ultimately the only way the teeth get clean is if I’m holding him down with my legs. This does not feel loving, even though of course I’m taking care of his teeth because I love him!
Racist college with biracial son: parenting advice from Care and Feeding slate.com - get the latest breaking news, showbiz & celebrity photos, sport news & rumours, viral videos and top stories from slate.com Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday newspapers.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My ex-wife and I divorced three years ago because of irreconcilable differences. We are fairly amicable, but we don’t talk unless it’s related to the kids. Before COVID I had weekends and holidays, and she had weekdays. My mom has cancer and lives with me, so once the pandemic started we agreed that the kids would stay at their mom’s house for the immediate future and my mom and I would have Zoom calls with them every day.
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Now, for some context, my ex has been overweight for pretty much her entire life, even as a young child. Her parents were overweight, and they passed down their habits to her, as it so often goes. By the time we met, she was 250 pounds. Throughout our relationship, I encouraged her to take steps towards a healthier lifestyle, but she never wanted to. Our kids (7 and 10 years old) were on the heavy side of an average weight while my ex and I were still married. When we were together, I did most of the cooking and did my