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Dear Care and Feeding,
My daughter (8 years old) sneaks food constantly. Though we generally have healthy food around the house, occasionally we’ll have some treats (think Girl Scout Cookies, sweets sent by Grandma, or leftovers from a meal out). She’ll wake up at 5 a.m. and treat herself to a junk breakfast, leaving very little for the rest of us. I am concerned by this behavior. It’s been ongoing for two years. At first we tried to ignore it, hoping it was just a phase; we then tried talking openly with her about honesty and sneaking around, but that didn’t work either. She’s physically healthy and definitely eats enough at meals. She just seems to have an insatiable sweet tooth. Having struggled with some disordered eating as a teen, I am intimately aware that creating too many emotions around food can do more harm than good. But I don’t want my daughter sneaking/stealing/hiding food. How do I extinguish this behavior in a healthy, productive way that doesn’t lead t
Dear Care and Feeding,
I’ve noticed that my 5-year-old daughters have become increasingly macabre in their imaginative play in ways that would put Charles Manson to shame. In the bathtub recently, one of them happily took a baby doll and pretended that she was “cutting her open to see what was inside and make her die by taking out parts of her and putting poison in her.” Shudder. Given that everything else about their behavior is completely within the normal range (they have a safe and loving home, they are well behaved in school, we don’t allow them to watch violent media), I have to rationally conclude that this must be “normal,” and it is unlikely that my daughters will grow up to be psychopathic serial killers. I think the appeal of it is that it’s a safe way for my daughters to explore boundaries, by doing things that are egregiously “bad” or “yucky” without consequences. Maybe it indicates that they are actually beginning to develop a moral compass throug
Dear Care and Feeding,
My partner and I have been living together for over a year. It’s been going amazingly well. He’s a very considerate, loving, and generous man. We plan to marry and have children within the next two years. He is Black and I am White. Often, when I bring up the subject of what our kids will be like, he expresses a desire for them to be White, blond-haired, or blue-eyed. I am White, albeit not blond or blue-eyed. I couldn’t care less what they look like, and I always ask him why he feels that way, and point out that it’s rather unlikely. He never gives a straight answer, saying he’s merely interested in how varied mixed-race people will look and that “he’s dated the rainbow.” I’ve dated Black men before and have encountered some men who think being with a White woman is a status symbol. Maybe I’m just sensitive due to that, but this desire for blond-haired, blue-eyed kids feels really off to me.