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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131024

Things . Keep going. Yeah. laughter well, apparently i am not, because the viewers are always riding me for answers. For instance, are these letters . Lets find out. All right. laughter here we go. Yup. Right there. Yup, this is one. It says, stephen, when are you going to do another one of your inbox segments . Thanks for asking. Right now. laughter applause . cheers folks, tonights feature letter comes to us from stephen c. No, sorry, thats who its addressed to. Anyway, the question s, dear stephen, who would win in a fight, a lion or a tiger . Please say lion. Its important. Timothy daniels, ph. D. , age 46. Great question, timmy. This is a classic rivalry, one of the few ive never weighed in on. Lets look at the facts. Lions hunt in paction. Theyre used to gang fights. While tigers are solitary, hunting alone. I always put my money on the drifter, whether its big cats or bong fights. Thats a clear advantage to the tiger. When it comes to size you might think the lion would win beca

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131023

Wilson. Research version developed a breathalyzer for marijuana. And its already been turned into a bong. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen thank you very much. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. cheers and applause y thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I dont know what it is. I dont know what it is about this audience. cheers and applause . I dont know what it is about you people, but right now i am fighting a very strong urge to come out there and give you big hugs. cheers and applause folks, i have to tell you at home. These people smell fantastic. applause now, nation as a traditionalist who sees the world with commonsense clarity, these days a lot of our value judgments i believe are just plain wrong. For instance, if we really want to help sick kids, why do we make medicine bottles with child

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131023

I know whos been naughty, whos been nice, and thanks to the n. S. A. , everything else. laughter and my guest, a. Scott berg, the pulitzer prizewinning author with a new biography on woodrow wilson. Two million for lincoln, one for wilson. Research version developed a breathalyzer for marijuana. And its already been turned into a bong. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen thank you very much. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. cheers and applause y thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I dont know what it is. I dont know what it is about this audience. cheers and applause . I dont know what it is about you people, but right now i am fighting a very strong urge to come out there and give you big hugs. cheers and applause folks, i have to tell you at home. These people smell fantastic. applause now, natio

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131028

Pulitzer prizewinning author with a new biography on woodrow wilson. Two million for lincoln, one for wilson. Research version developed a breathalyzer for marijuana. And its already been turned into a bong. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen thank you very much. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us. cheers and applause y thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I dont know what it is. I dont know what it is about this audience. cheers and applause . I dont know what it is about you people, but right now i am fighting a very strong urge to come out there and give you big hugs. cheers and applause folks, i have to tell you at home. These people smell fantastic. applause now, nation as a traditionalist who sees the world with commonsense clarity, these days a lot of our value judgments i believe are just plai

Transcripts For CSPAN2 Key Capitol Hill Hearings 20140910

Interpretation would have serious effects on Small Businesses and other legitimate business conductsuch as routine maintenance and disposal of inventer to. Shy of of offer an opportunity for response . The government has come in for a fair amount of teasing for this case, and so don you know, thats one side of the story. [laughter] heres the other side of the story. That the fisherman is a commercial fisherman. Out in the gulf of mexico and he was visited by a state inspector, and the stay inpicket juror looked at his load of fish and said, gees you got a bunch of group here below the limit that you are allowed to catch, and so i am going to instruct you to take house undersized grouper aside in the box and tape up the box and then when you come back to shore you have to turn it in and well have a proceeding whether you are obi organize vie laying the law lamp the commercial fisherman did after the state inspector left was to instruct one of his employees to take that crate of fish and

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