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Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170913

Musical guest patti smith. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 735 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, looking good. Looking great tonight. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] we made it. Were here, thank you. Well, heres what people are talking about. I guess Hillary Clintons book what happened came out today. And i heard that its almost 500 pages long. [ light laughter ] unfortunately, the only person with enough time to read it is hillary clinton. Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy they sold one copy. Steve one person. Jimmy yeah. Well, actually i heard that hilly will actually be signing books at a costco in connecticut. [ laughter ] its going to be awesome when someone gets to the front and goes, oh, i thought this was the line for cheese samples. Im sorry. [ laughter and applause ] can you sign a cheese sample . B

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170913

Musical guest patti smith. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 735 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, looking good. Looking great tonight. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] we made it. Were here, thank you. Well, heres what people are talking about. I guess Hillary Clintons book what happened came out today. And i heard that its almost 500 pages long. [ light laughter ] unfortunately, the only person with enough time to read it is hillary clinton. Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy they sold one copy. Steve one person. Jimmy yeah. Well, actually i heard that hilly will actually be signing books at a costco in connecticut. [ laughter ] its going to be awesome when someone gets to the front and goes, oh, i thought this was the line for cheese samples. Im sorry. [ laughter and applause ] can you sign a cheese sample . B

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Transcripts For WEWS Jimmy Kimmel Live 20160823

We have been away on vacation for two weeks and we were welcomed back to work today by the secret service and their bombsniffing dogs. Which by the way as far as jobs for dogs go bombsniffing is the worst one. Youre trained to intentionally find something that can blow you up. Anyway its all of course because Hillary Clinton is here [ cheers and applause ] Hillary Clinton could be one of the first, if not the first, female president s of the United States. [ cheers and applause ] one of the things mrs. Clinton is working on, besides being here, is getting ready for debates with drurp. Which are going to be great. These are going to be better than the Diaz Mcgregor fight this weekend. To get ready typically the candidates practice against the stand and have mock debates. The Clinton Campaign admitted theyre having trouble finding someone to stand in for donald trump. Hillarys campaign manner said mimic the reckless tell personal and hateful and dave vicive instincts of donald trump. Whi

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Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20160824

Thank you for thank you. Thank you for joining us on this special night. Today, my friend, our band leader cleto turns 50 years old. Cleto thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i met cleto in january of 1977 when my family moved from brooklyn to las vegas. Cleto lived across the street from us. The first time we met i was riding a bike wearing boxing gloves and my mothers sunglasses asun glass and cleto saw me and assumed i was mentally challenged. We began a lifetime of friendship that was highlighted by the kind of torture that you can only inflict on an older brother can inflict on you without being arrested. One time i built im going to share a couple stories about you. Cleto okay. Jimmy i built a go cart out of wood, ham evered nails, put wheels on. Cleto snuck into my garage and glued the Steering Wheel so i couldnt turn the wheel left or right. I went right into traffic. Cleto had a bicycle with a side the side hack. I would get in and cleto would drive me directly

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Transcripts For KNXV Jimmy Kimmel Live 20160827

For two weeks and we were welcomed back to work today by the secret service and their bombsniffing dogs. Which by the way as far as jobs for dogs go bombsniffing is the worst one. Youre trained to intentionally find something that can blow you up. Anyway its all of course because Hillary Clinton is here [ cheers and applause ] Hillary Clinton could be one of the first, if not the first, female president s of the United States. [ cheers and applause ] one of the things mrs. Clinton is working on, besides being here, is getting ready for debates with donald trump. Which are going to be great. These are going to be better than the Diaz Mcgregor fight this weekend. To get ready typically the candidates practice against the stand and have mock debates. The Clinton Campaign admitted theyre having trouble finding someone to stand in for donald trump. Hillarys campaign manner said mimic the reckless temperament and hateful and divisive instincts of donald trump. To which i say, have they ever

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