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Most of us have a voice in our heads that speaks to us when we introspect. It allows us to imagine, remember and reflect, then problem solve, innovate and create. In times of distress, this voice can cause more harm than good, turning our capacity for introspection into a curse rather than a blessing. This "chatter" manifests as a cycle.
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Eleven years ago, Emilia had the best night of her life. She was 19 years old and visiting her cousin in Mexico during college break when she met a man named Ivan. Emilia and Ivan fell in love, and eventually Emilia moved from New York to Mexico. But then things fell apart. Today, Emilia is newly and happily married, but memories of her old flame in Mexico still haunt her, and she’s desperate for a way to let the past go . On a recent episode of How To!, psychologist Ethan Kross, author of
Chatter: The Voice In Our Head, Why It Matters, and How To Harness It, helped Emilia quiet the chatter in her head. While we can’t control those thoughts, Ethan says we can control how we react to them. This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
Episode Notes
Emilia can’t stop thinking about a long-ago love affair with Ivan, a man she met in Mexico in her early 20s and dated for several years. Now, a decade later, Emilia is newly married, but thoughts of her time with Ivan pop into her mind daily, a fact she’s never shared with her husband. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ethan Kross, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan and the author of
Chatter: The Voice In Our Head, Why It Matters, and How To Harness It. Whether thinking about a past experience or worrying about the present, we all get stuck in negative cycles of thought, and Ethan has the tools to help us form a better relationship with our thoughts.
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