all these years. i am putting one down. and it s got a snooze. can we get a shot of that? it s got a snooze. because when you get older, that s what counts. larry: this clock shall be a permanent part of larry king live. it shall be embellished in our hearts. at the smithsonian. larry: we ll go to the smithsonian. and what prompted you to take it the first time? it s annoying that a big-time, big-shot guy like you has a piece of eye-sore like that. it offended me. larry: all right. by the way, that s an inexpensive item. larry: that s correct. you re going to put the rumors to rest tonight about who wrote letters from a nut. it was identified as ted l. nancy, which was a nom de plume. it was a nom de plume.
wrote to the oakland chamber of commerce. larry: oakland chamber of commerce. oakland chamber of commerce. i want to come to your city for the tiny man convention. let me be clear, we are not midgets, small persons, diminutives, petitios or fun size. we are tiny men. i would like to buy tickets to the performance of tiny bennett. this is a tiny man that sings like tony bennett. they write him back. dear mr. nancy, we could not find any information on a show appearing with mr. tiny bennett. but i attached a schedule for tony. he writes back to them. i told you it s not tiny, it s small mccartney. he is a fun sized man that looks like paul mccartney. these correspondence go back and forth. larry: they answer. they answer. because they re so afraid of losing a customer. larry: they answer because of fear? yeah, fear. larry: let s do another one.
can you direct me to what office i would contact to request casino credit. they reply, dear mr. nancy, we thank you for your interest but at this time we re not interested in putting any businesses in the restroom. we have five food outlets for our customers. thank you for considering us, but at this time we are fine. larry: what do you make of i mean, your mind is wild. i think so. larry: i mean, you are you know you re a little nuts. what do you think is the craziest one you ever wrote? mickey mantle was pretty crazy. hamsterdam was one. larry: what of that? i had written a letter to a hotel in amster domestic. i said i am implementing my plan and need to know what health permits i need. my play is called hamsterdam. the telling of your beautiful city using hamsters. i need to bring 300 loose hamsters into your hotel and have them live in the room with me. this is for 12 nights.
then called out of the room. at that moment i dropped to the carpet and secured all the toenails that had been clipped off. there are almost ten nails, nine and some shavings, but a full set. they answered, dear mr. nancy, we are very interested in your story of the mickey mantle toenails. this is the hall of fame in cooperstown. larry: correct. they want the nails! they want them! larry: all right. all these are nutty letters. jerry, who s with you here? now, the man sitting next to me, the reason i am bringing him out tonight is because in the 15 years since we have been doing this, the internet has started up, and a lot of people have been out there taking credit for these letters. larry: oh, really? and saying i wrote the books and they re for sale on my site.
i like the one you wanted to check in larry: the new letters from a nut. hold it up, larry. that s how we get sales. larry: all right. one more. i like this one that i wrote to i was trying to get a sign made. i m opening a business next to a cuckoo-roo restaurant. my business is called i am the walrus. i need one big sign to put next to them that says i am the walrus coo coo carew. you know coo coo carew chicken and elroy s? larry: you are a genius. thank you. larry: all you people on the internet, here he is. finally the mystery is over. larry: the name is barry marter, the book is all new letters from a nut by ted l. nancy. this is ted nancy. jerry stays with us. we ll be right back.