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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140109

What was the real wrecking ball 2013 . Our n tonight a new breakthru in medicine, a pill that doesnt give you a boner. Then america is enveloped in record cold, luckily americans are enveloped in record fat. And my guest author ishmael beah was a child soldier, still better adjusted than a child actor. Happy birthday to north koreas kim jungun, please accept our gift of dennis rodman. No returns. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in hot water. Okay, hold on, i just pictured him in a hot tub. Shake it off.

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140113

Stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in hot water. Okay, hold on, i just pictured him in a hot tub. Shake it off. New emails link top aides in the Christie Administration to a shutdown on the George Washington bridge back in september. It was traffic on a biblical scale with new jersey highways backed up for days which is slightly longer than normal. laughter now it turns out, turns out, folks, that the lane closures were meant to make life hell as payback to the mayor of new jersey for not endorsing christie for reelection. No word yet on what the rest of new jersey is pay

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140109

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in hot water. Okay, hold on, i just pictured him in a hot tub. Shake it off. New emails link top aides in the Christie Administration to a shutdown on the George Washington bridge back in september. It was traffic on a biblical scale with new jersey highways backed up for days which is slightly longer than normal. laughter now it turns out, turns out, folks, that the lane closures were meant to make life hell as payback to the mayor of new jersey for not endorsing christie for reelection. No word ye

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140110

On the George Washington bridge back in september. It was traffic on a biblical scale with new jersey highways backed up for days which is slightly longer than normal. laughter now it turns out, turns out, folks, that the lane closures were meant to make life hell as payback to the mayor of new jersey for not endorsing christie for reelection. No word yet on what the rest of new jersey is payback for. laughter nation, i, i will have full Team Coverage on this tomorrow by which i mean just me, of course. And rest assured, im going to go extremely easy on this man. Because i am a commuter and do not wish to get on his bad side. Not to imply that he has a bad side. All your sides are wonderful now nation, its important, i hope you know this, it is important to talk to your kids about the dangers of drugs. But that can be nerveracking, so before due do pop some xanax, it helps. This is Cheating Death with dr. Stephen t colbert, dfa. cheers and applause as always, folks, team death is broug

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140109

Tonight a new breakthru in medicine, a pill that doesnt give you a boner. Then america is enveloped in record cold, luckily americans are enveloped in record fat. And my guest author ishmael beah was a child soldier, still better adjusted than a child actor. Happy birthday to north koreas kim jungun, please accept our gift of dennis rodman. No returns. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in hot water. Okay, hold on, i just pictured him in a hot tub. Shake it off. New emails link top aides in the Christie Ad

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