Take a pill. Then cheat on your wife with a porn star, pay her off to win the presidency, and then be forced to defend yourself in court. Its that simple. Then its off to dreamland. [farts] announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Courtroom drama plus, stephen welcomes John Leguizamo and laura coates featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen there you go. Nice. Please have a seat. Thank you very much. Very kind, you lovely people. Welcome to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. [cheering] im not surprised these people are in a good mood. It was a beautiful spring day here in new york city. 10 out of 10. Warm, sunny. A perfect day for donald trump to be stuck in a courtroom freezing his drowsy balls off. You know what . To be fair. He is somebodys little boy. But im sure his spirits were buoyed by the show of force today from his legion of
Band most have never heard of. And your world in 90 seconds. We fully expect low areas to have five to six feet of water in a very short period of time. Buffalo braces for the big melt. Warmer temperatures will melt the snow. Snow there, seven feet deep in some places and that means a lot of runoff. Two men arrested near ferguson, missouri are accused of buying explosives to be used in pipe bombs during the expected protest. The decision whether or not to charge officer Darren Wilson for browns shooting death could come as early as this weekend. Bill cosby performed at a sold out event and got a standing ovation, mounting accusations that he sexually assaulted several women. Cosbys slamming what he calls fantastical stories. And president obama is trying to sell his plan to fix the current immigration system. The president has chosen to deliberately sabotage any chance of enacteding bipartisan reforms that he claims to seek. Why . I didnt dissolve parliament. Thats not how our system w
Pressure. The one that brought us rain during the work week. It is stagnant over the nevada area. It hasnt moved by much and it could bring showers to parts of santa clara area. And we have 50s and 60s. More sunshine in the afternoon. They are trending we low average. It is mid70s and upper 70s. For the warmest inland spots. It shows the high clouds moving into the bay area. And some moisture to the east. It will build in as we head into the first day of october. We are looking at gradually warmer weather and even perhaps increased concern for fire danger with the shift to the offshore winds. That is something we will be monitoring and we will have 90s back in the forecast. That is coming up in 15 minutes. Marty. Thank you, erica. A suspect is in custody for setting four separate fires in alameda. It was reported at 1 00. Two of the fires burned two homes blocks away from each other. The other two fires are considered minor. The red cross working this morning with the residents who wer
We fully expect low areas to have five to six feet of water in a very short period of time. Buffalo braces for the big melt. Warmer temperatures will melt the snow. Snow there, seven feet deep in some places and that means a lot of runoff. Two men arrested near ferguson, missouri are accused of buying explosives to be used in pipe bombs during the expected protest. The decision whether or not to charge officer Darren Wilson for browns shooting death could come as early as this weekend. Bill cosby performed at a sold out event and got a standing ovation, mounting accusations that he sexually assaulted several women. Cosbys slamming what he calls fantastical stories. And president obama is trying to sell his plan to fix the current immigration system. The president has chosen to deliberately sabotage any chance of enacteding bipartisan reforms that he claims to seek. Why . I didnt dissolve parliament. Thats not how our system works. Hello. Poo forh for you. Because he has no pants. And t
RALEIGH, N.C. — This weekend, for only the third time ever, Powerball and Mega Millions both have advertised jackpots above $500 million at the same time. Friday’s Mega Millions jackpot, a $560 million annuity worth $281.1 million in cash, ranks as the seventh largest in the game’s history. Saturday’s Powerball jackpot, an $875 million annuity […]