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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130930

A rock harder. Then i review an exciting Childrens Book. I dont care how hungry that caterpillar is. Its not getting food stamps. And my guest chris fisher is a conservationist who tracks great white sharks. A flight was grounded because there was a snake on the plane. Its just like the samuel l. Jackson movie, django unchained. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, so much. Thank you in there, out there, all around the world. Thank you for joining us. And by us of course i mean us. cheers and applause were a family now because ive adopted them. laughter come tax time i will be claiming them as dependents. In addition to being honored on the emmys, i was promptly featured on a Television Show people actually watch. You wea awa

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130927

theme song playing cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, so much. Thank you in there, out there, all around the world. Thank you for joining us. And by us of course i mean us. cheers and applause were a family now because ive adopted them. laughter come tax time i will be claiming them as dependents. In addition to being honored on the emmys, i was promptly featured on a Television Show people actually watch. You wea awake . Yeah. We have ben jerrys, wenut butter cup, and americone dream. Stephen thats right. My ice cream. Americone dream. The only ice cream liked by sociopathic white strem sifts. It does keep the vanilla separate from the caramel. This is the biggest cue since silence of the lambs endorsed nivea. Folks, i believe its about damn time they did this after all the times

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130928

Then i review an exciting Childrens Book. I dont care how hungry that caterpillar is. Its not getting food stamps. And my guest chris fisher is a conservationist who tracks great white sharks. A flight was grounded because there was a snake on the plane. Its just like the samuel l. Jackson movie, django unchained. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, so much. Thank you in there, out there, all around the world. Thank you for joining us. And by us of course i mean us. cheers and applause were a family now because ive adopted them. laughter come tax time i will be claiming them as dependents. In addition to being honored on the emmys, i was promptly featured on a Television Show people actually watch. You wea awake . Yeah. We h

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130927

Stephen tonight, cable news brings back a classic series. Could it be a rock 3. A rock harder. Then i review an exciting Childrens Book. I dont care how hungry that caterpillar is. Its not getting food stamps. And my guest chris fisher is a conservationist who tracks great white sharks. A flight was grounded because there was a snake on the plane. Its just like the samuel l. Jackson movie, django unchained. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, so much. Thank you in there, out there, all around the world. Thank you for joining us. And by us of course i mean us. cheers and applause were a family now because ive adopted them. laughter come tax time i will be claiming them as dependents. In addition to being honored on the emmys,

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130927

Stephen thats right. My ice cream. Americone dream. The only ice cream liked by sociopathic white strem sifts. It does keep the vanilla separate from the caramel. This is the biggest cue since silence of the lambs endorsed nivea. Folks, i believe its about damn time they did this after all the times i have plugged their product the blue. Upon what might put you in the mindset for mayhem . A nice big bag of meth. Some of the tasty blue. Hey, i plug what the Network Tells me to. Sometimes its doritos. Sometimes its 92 pure methamphetamine. Both made by guys in hazmat the suits. And, folk,s they dont just mention my ice cream on breaking bad. It has a key role in the plot. Before my ice cream, jesse cant reach the bars of his cienl, but after eating my ice cream, he can leap like an eagle. cheers and applause . And ill tell you where he got that energy. Every pint of americone dream is made with love. And meth. laughter i had to do something to compete with Jimmy Fallons late night smack.

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