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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20171216

Youre wearing lavender and Peach Blossom perfume. No, sir. I think thats the glade plugin youre smelling. laughter ah, yes, freshness all day. Still hunting President Trump . Do you know him . I do. We were golfing buddies once. We ate our caddy, turned him into a taco bowl with a nice diet coke. Pfpfpfpfpf. Doctor, what can you tell me about the president . You already have the answers. What is his nature . What does he do, this man you seek . Hes hes an idiot who says the first thing that comes to mind. No, that is incidental. Quid pro quo, clarice. Tell me your worst memory of the election. One night, on a tuesday, donald trump won the presidency, and then i heard a strange noise. It sounded like a scream, like some kind of screaming. What did you do . I crept into the living room. The tv was on. I was so scared. So scared. Msnbc, the anchors, they were crying. They were crying. laughter thank you, clarice. Now its your turn, doctor, quid pro quo. What evidence do you have on donald

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Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20180102

laughter announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, coffee joe calls trump cuckoo. Plus stephen welcomes Carol Burnett and lewis black. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody cheers and applause thank you, jon. Hey, everybody hey, jon. Thats nice. Thats nice. Thank you very much. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, everybody audience Stephen Stephen stephen thank you. Incredible. These people are incredible. Please, have a seat everybody. Thank you so much. Please. These people are amazing. This is the kind of crowd i would want two nights a week. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. cheers and applause jon thats right, thats right. Stephen double header. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is friday, and its been quite a week for our president. Hes been on a re

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20180102

laughter announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, coffee joe calls trump cuckoo. Plus stephen welcomes Carol Burnett and lewis black. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody cheers and applause thank you, jon. Hey, everybody hey, jon. Thats nice. Thats nice. Thank you very much. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, everybody audience Stephen Stephen stephen cheers and applause thank you. Incredible. These people are incredible. Please, have a seat everybody. Thank you so much. Ese ople are amazing. This is the kind of crowd i would want two nights a week. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. cheers and applause jon thats right, thats right. Stephen double header. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is friday, and its been quite a week for our president. Hes been

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Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20180102

Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, coffee joe calls trump cuckoo. Plus stephen welcomes Carol Burnett and lewis black. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody cheers and applause thank you, jon. Hey, everybody hey, jon. Thats nice. Thats nice. Thank you very much. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, everybody audience Stephen Stephen stephen cheers and applause thank you. Incredible. These people are incredible. Please, have a seat everybody. Thank you so much. Please. These people are amazing. This is the kind of crowd i would want two nights a week. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. cheers and applause jon thats right, thats right. Stephen double header. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is friday, and its been quite a week for our president. Hes b

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20180116

Over where the horn loving till the end of time so heres the golden moon horn heres the silver sea but mostly horn you and me repeat after me tiny bubbles horn in the wine make me happy make me horn make me feel fine tiny bubbles make me want to horn i have a feeling im gonna love you till the end of time announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert plus stephen welcomes john lithgow, senator Chuck Schumer and musical guest black eyed peas, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen thank you very much. Hey, everybody, how are you . Please, have a seat, everybody cheers and applause very nice. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the late show. Im your shows Stephen Colbert. piano riff thank you very much, sir. Happy Martin Luther king day, everybody cheers and applause today we celebrate the civil rights icon all over the country. Fun fact, in mississippi and alabama, its also ro

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