Back to work from a long thanksgiving break. Is it safe to still be eating turkey 11 days after thanksgiving . [ laughter ] a lot of things happened to me over the last two weeks. I got a tummy tuck, they still give those. I had my eyes done. And i think they look great, right . I also went to drybar, i got an updo, i had my whole body done. I read online in february ill be hosting the oscars. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very nice. Thanks for the music. You know, the producers and the academy went through a long list of names and they decided that since im already right across the street from where they do the show, i was the closest person to host. [ laughter ] so i guess i have to get a tux now . Or maybe ill wear jean shorts, has anyone done that . We have to shake thins up a little. Im going to need you to help me with this. Guillermo sure, jimmy. Jimmy marijuana will be legal for Recreational Use in february, i wonder maybe you can pass some of that out on the red carpet. Guille
Musical guest dec 99th and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove ho, ho, ho steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey welcome. Thats what im talking about. Hot crowd [ cheers and applause ] hot thats the crowd you want. New york city. Oh, baby. Welcome, you guys. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it. You made it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. Thats what im talking about. Oh, how exciting. Welcome, everybody. Oh, i love you too. Well, heres what everybodys talking about. Guys, were just three days away from christmas, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] but get this. I read that the weather in the north pole today was about 50 degrees warmer than normal. [ audience oohs ] of course, trump says its just a hoax created by the elves. [ laughter and applause ] but people everywhere are still doing lastminute shopping. I saw that the most popular holiday gift in alabama this year is an electric turkey fryer. [ laughter ] th
There are just three days until christmas when most of us will celebrate the birth of christ, and mike pence will celebrate historys least planned parenthood. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] Donald Trumps childhood home in new york city is going up for auction three days before his inauguration. Wow, just think, you could own the home that donald trump never grew up in. [ light laughter ] the rock band kiss reportedly turned down an offer to perform at Donald Trumps inauguration, and its not the first time trump has been refused a kiss. [ laughter and applause ] seth youre my best friend. [ light laughter ] an 11yearold has set up a stand in a subway station to offer advice to stressed out new yorkers, and apparently, nobody is less stressed out that his parents. Mom, im heading down to the 4train and talk to strangers. Okay, have fun. [ laughter ] i still dont know. [ light laughter ] im just shaking eggs over a flame. The a new poll not the new poll. A new poll a ne
And wrap this staple gun. Done announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, will smith; anna kendrick; and the big furry hat. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, its the best in late show retrospectacular endof year wrapupabration cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody. Thank you so much. Hey everybody, welcome to the late show. So glad youre here. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause its lovely to be back. We havent seen you guys for a week. I hope you guys everybody have a good thanksgiving . cheers and applause i did, too. I had a fantastic jon, you were there. Jon yeah, that was great. Stephen fantastic, heres something i discovered this thanksgiving. I discovered if you bury your face in the pecan pie, it absorbs your screams. laughter and the best part is, after you its true after you put your face in it, you get to have the whole pie. laughter you just keep shoveling it in there, and if you keep the pie in your mouth, you dont have time
Done announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, will smith; anna kendrick; and the big furry hat. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, its the best in late show retrospectacular endof year wrapupabration cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody. Thank you so much. Hey everybody, welcome to the late show. So glad youre here. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause its lovely to be back. We havent seen you guys for a week. I hope you guys everybody have a good thanksgiving . cheers and applause i did, too. I had a fantastic jon, you were there. Jon yeah, that was great. Stephen fantastic, heres something i discovered this thanksgiving. I discovered if you bury your face in the pecan pie, it absorbs your screams. laughter and the best part is, after you its true after you put your face in it, you get to have the whole pie. laughter you just keep shoveling it in there, and if you keep the pie in your mouth, you dont have time to yell at rick. Jon hey,