potential 2024 presidential contenders which is like winning first place at an ugly baby contest. but here s how bernie cele celebrated. yeah. it s amazing he can still move so quickly. but he gets plenty of exercise running between as many houses. because he had three houses. [light laughing] you didn t know that. that s why you didn t laugh. i understand. we will edit that out. 43% of respondents said they had a somewhat favorable view towards sanders but 41% said they had an unfavorable opinion and the rest asked, what s that smell? [light laughing] i do the math and that is usually for kat s benefit but she s on her honeymoon. i think we have tape of that. to be young and in hate. so what s to say about politics when the oldest, harriest, most left-wing person is the most popular candidate? and it s not hillary? she is hairy. in a one piece, she looks like george the animal steele. it was for you, tyrus. nice. i think we have footage of him. how could you laugh at t
far down the toilet they could wave hello to chris wallace. it s so bad i hear biden s new strategist is rote 0 router. wow just a chuckle. i thought that would work. no wonder he s once again talking up student loan forgiveness when really joe should be asking for forgiveness not doling it out. forgiveness for afghanistan, for tanking the economy, for farting in front of the royal family. that bomb was so rank the queen thought the germans were blitzing again. tyrus: dang. jason: now they want to forgive ten grand, or roughly what hunter paid for a weekend of hookers. of course this is a hail mary pass or for the gender confused, a hail larry, known appeal to young voters before the midterms which should crush the dems like a dozen eggs under brian stelter s box springs. did i say voters i meant democratic voters the ones too dumb to realize they re trading their future for a quick payout. taking your money to pay a bribe to the people who hate you to elect the same frea
and cogen analysis it s the honesty like a clogged men s room toilet at a time square burger king. we are brimming with it. for example, just now i said happy wednesday and, true, it s wednesday. fox and friends would have said something like, thursday. stupid liars. but that s not just an isolated instance of honesty. it permeates this show like powdered sugar in brian stelter s chest hair. keep telling him to shave. for example, this was a slow news day. so slow i was like the only one in this building. wait until jesse sees what i did to his suits. hi no idea polyester was that flammable. now i could have done a mono on inflation or joe biden but really not again. it s so boring. thankfully a producer offered this headline. quote, transgender x neo-nazi robber to receive fast track gender confirmation surgeries. wow. i m so glad he s an ex neo-nazi. but talk about a perfect storm of gutfeldian content. trans, nazi, gender surgery, prison. it sounds like a hogan s heroes af
greg: you didn t think we could do it but there you are. months of hard work and hot tubbing but he s here. i m not proud of some of the things i had to do in that tub larry but i ll do what it takes. also side note al qaeda leader ayman al-zawahiri was killed. [cheers and applause] greg: you re sick. was just 51 years young, his remains will be cremated and spread over his already cream ated remains. and to think he just finished paying off his women s studies degree. we went to his family for comment. that s terrible, show the guy some respect. let s go to his real family. you know that s even worse. you know how those guys hate pork. it s the other white meat they despise. no wonder he became a terrorist. at least he didn t get into stripping because once the robe comes off it s just ankle socks. don t ask me how i know. so when i first heard the news i have to say i was a little confused. and, no, that s not a quote from the president. first, i had not heard that name
batteries. bret: okay. greg: dagen mcdowell is here. i know because i can smell the craw fish in her purse. so as the country reels from a bizarre historic raid of a former president s house our current president leaves for vacation. let s hope he tries para sailing or face jumping or even more dangerous, takes the stairs at the hotel. but he curves a break for as you know he s done so much. first he put on his jacket. this after he slow danced with it for 15 minutes first. that was a crowning achievement of his presidency so far just eclipsing that time he made a solid boom boom in the press office bathroom. well, near the press office bathroom. sorry bret. after approximately four minutes of actual work where his hands were busier than a cnn producer on bring your daughter to workday, biden hops on a plane. he hops on a plane, and not just with dr. jill, you know, the noted the tv actress neurosurgeon who discovered a cure for hemorrhoids when joe accidentally sat on a