compassionate with the understanding i needed help. he was refered to a local ex-gay organization. i thought i would go a couple days without being attracted to men but then i would have a sexual slipup so i thought i m failing again. five years into therapy sean hit a low point and again, tried to kill himself. desperate he moved to california and joined a live-in program for gay men trying to become straight. very controlling environment. we went to work. after we got home, we had dinner together. we didn t go places alone, other than to work and back. we were in groups of two and three. sundays we went to church together. we had curfews. sean was totally committed to the program. the first year i was great, this is i ll make it. this is what i needed and, you know, then i had a slip with one