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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170901

The hands of donald trump . [ laughter ] whats this . Classified . Do you want it . Here you go. [ laughter ] President Trump, this weekend, gave the commencement speech at liberty university. While yet again the commencement speech at Trump University was given by a raccoon that wandered on stage. [ laughter ] dont leave your trash out. White House Press Secretary sean spicer said today that there is no need for a special prosecutor in the russia investigation. Of course, this is one of those cases where it matters how he said it. Did he say theres no need for a special prosecutor . Or was it more like, you dont need a special prosecutor to figure this one out. [ light laughter ] look, heres a picture of trump in the white house with a russian spy. Should we call columbo or are we good . [ light laughter ] citizens arrest at this point . President trump yesterday issued a statement calling for paid family leave. Which is a little surprising until you remember that hes already paid two

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170902

Pieces of public art. Dude, if you love beautiful statues so much, why dont you marry one . Oh, okay [ laughter ] thats fair. Thats fair. New york city mayor bill de blasio announced yesterday that the city will conduct a 90day review of all racist symbols on City Property in an effort to determine which ones ought to be removed. Well let me give you a head start. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] axios, today published a list of groups that President Trump has alienated during his first seven months of office, and now the world is out of paper. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] in a new interview, Kim Kardashian revealed that she did karaoke with former president obama, said obama, that was just the national anthem. [ light laughter ] this week, chuck e. Cheese announced plans to remove some of its animatronic performers. Oh no. Dont get these guys riled up again. [ laughter ] that is the pizza of this country [ light laughter ] that mouse raised me American Idol is reportedly having

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170516

Classified information fall into the hands of donald trump . [ laughter ] do you want it . Here you go. [ laughter ] President Trump, this weekend, gave the commencement speech at liberty university. While yet again the commencement speech at Trump University was given by a raccoon that wandered on stage. [ laughter ] dont leave your trash out. President trump yesterday wished Melania Trump a happy mothers day on twitter. It was sweet. But not as sweet as her reply. [ laughter and applause ] White House Press White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said today that there is no need for a special prosecutor in the russia investigation. Of course, this is one of those cases where it matters how he said it. Did he say theres no need for a special prosecutor . Or was it more like, you dont need a special prosecutor to figure this one out. [ light laughter ] look, heres a picture of trump in the white house with a russian spy. Should we call columbo or are we good . [ light laughter ] citize

Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170516

The hands of donald trump . [ laughter ] do you want it . Here you go. [ laughter ] President Trump, this weekend, gave the commencement speech at liberty university. While yet again the commencement speech at Trump University was given by a raccoon that wandered on stage. [ laughter ] dont leave your trash out. President trump yesterday wished Melania Trump a happy mothers day on twitter. It was sweet. But not as sweet as her reply. [ laughter and applause ] White House Press White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said today that there is no need for a special prosecutor in the russia investigation. Of course, this is one of those cases where it matters how he said it. Did he say theres no need for a special prosecutor . [ light laughter ] look, heres a picture of trump in the white house with a russian spy. Should we call columbo or are we good . [ light laughter ] citizens arrest at this point . President trump yesterday issued a statement calling for paid family leave. Which is a

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170519

[ laughter ] during a press conference this afternoon, President Trump said that his administration is getting things done at a recordsetting pace. For example, most president s take four years to finish a term and it looks like trumps gonna get it done in like eight months. [ cheers and applause ] so [ laughter ] youre out the Justice Department yesterday appointed former fbi director Robert Mueller as special council to oversee the investigation into trump and russia. Im gonna get to the bottom of this. Said donald trump to a pint of haagen dazs. [ laughter ] everybody, calling me a liar. Im not a liar. Theyre liars, i dont like [ laughter ] Country Singer toby keith will reportedly perform in saudi arabia on saturday, for President Trumps first foreign trip. Youre having toby keith perform for muslims . [ laughter ] thats like having betsy devos give the commencement speech at a historically black oh, okay. I see what you are doing. [ audience groans ] [ applause ] i see what youre

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