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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170610

[ laughter ] during a press conference this afternoon, President Trump said that his administration is getting things done at a recordsetting pace. For example, most president s take four years to finish a term and it looks like trumps gonna get it done in like eight months. [ cheers and applause ] so [ laughter ] youre out the Justice Department yesterday appointed former fbi director Robert Mueller as special council to oversee the investigation into trump and russia. Im gonna get to the bottom of this. Said donald trump to a pint of haagen dazs. [ laughter ] everybody, calling me a liar. Im not a liar. Theyre liars, and i dont like [ laughter ] Country Singer toby keith will reportedly perform in saudi arabia on saturday, for President Trumps first foreign trip. Youre having toby keith perform for muslims . [ laughter ] thats like having betsy devos give the commencement speech at a historically black oh, okay. I see what you are doing. [ audience groans ] [ applause ] i see what yo

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170818

Dude, if you love beautiful statues so much, why dont you marry one . Oh, okay [ laughter ] thats fair. Thats fair. New york city mayor bill de blasio announced yesterday that the city will conduct a 90day review of all racist symbols on City Property in an effort to determine which ones ought to be removed. Well let me give you a head start. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] axios, today published a list of groups that President Trump has alienated during his first seven months of office, and now the world is out of paper. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] in a new interview, Kim Kardashian revealed that she did karaoke with former president obama, said obama, that was just the national anthem. [ light laughter ] this week, chuck e. Cheese announced plans to remove some of its animatronic performers. Oh no. Dont get these guys riled up again. [ laughter ] that is the pizza of this country [ light laughter ] that mouse raised me American Idol is reportedly having trouble finding judge

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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170818

Statues so much, why dont you marry one . Oh, okay [ laughter ] thats fair. Thats fair. New york city mayor bill de blasio announced yesterday that the city will conduct a 90day review of all racist symbols on City Property in an effort to determine which ones ought to be removed. Well let me give you a head start. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] axios, today published a list of groups that President Trump has alienated during his first seven months of office, and now the world is out of paper. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] in a new interview, Kim Kardashian revealed that she did karaoke with former president obama, said obama, that was just the national anthem. [ light laughter ] this week, chuck e. Cheese announced plans to remove some of its animatronic performers. Oh no. Dont get these guys riled up again. [ laughter ] that is the pizza of this country [ light laughter ] that mouse raised me American Idol is reportedly having trouble finding judges to join katy perry for its

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170119

Russian president Vladimir Putin yesterday cast doubts on the unverified reports that donald trump hired prostitutes in moscow. Though he added that russian prostitutes are quote, undoubtedly the best in the world. [ laughter ] he continued, in fact, you might say, theyre number one, right mr. Trump . [ laughter ] ha ha ha ha ha ha. We have the tape. [ light laughter ] in a newly resurfaced 2015 interview donald trump claimed that he met russian president Vladimir Putin and that they quote, got along great. Thats right. They were like two peas in a bed. [ laughter ] [ applause ] Trump Officials told cnn yesterday that donald trump wrote the first draft of his inauguration address himself, and today trump tweeted out this picture of himself supposedly working on it. [ laughter ] i have so many questions. First of all, is he sitting in the fountain at a Mexican Restaurant . [ laughter and applause ] also why is he writing like that . Were not going to copy off of you. [ laughter ] looks

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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170119

Russian president Vladimir Putin yesterday cast doubts on the unverified reports that donald trump hired prostitutes in moscow. Though he added that russian prostitutes are quote, undoubtedly the best in the world. [ laughter ] he continued, in fact, you might say, theyre number one, right mr. Trump . [ laughter ] ha ha ha ha ha ha. We have the tape. [ light laughter ] in a newly resurfaced 2015 interview donald trump claimed that he met russian president Vladimir Putin and that they quote, got along great. Thats right. They were like two peas in a bed. [ laughter ] [ applause ] Trump Officials told cnn yesterday that donald trump wrote the first draft of his inauguration address himself, and today trump tweeted out this picture of himself supposedly working on it. [ laughter ] i have so many questions. First of all, is he sitting in the fountain at a Mexican Restaurant . [ laughter and applause ] also why is he writing like that . Were not going to copy off of you. [ laughter ] looks

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