President trump said that he knows the u. S. Is past the peak of a pandemic because he was quote, looking at graph and models. Or more likely, looking at graphs and thinking about models i wonder what Kathy Ireland is doing right now. Probably not wasting her time looking at a bunch of stupid graphs. According to a new poll, voters overwhelmingly want former Vice President joe biden to choose a running mate with governing experience said one man, i already told you, joe, no. Cmon, lets freaky friday this thing. Uh no. Senator Elizabeth Warren said yesterday she would be former Vice President joe bidens running mate if he asked while senator Amy Klobuchar said shed be his running mate even if he didnt President Trump held an event at the white house today celebrating truckers and he was pretty disappointed they didnt bring that lady from their mud flaps. Oh, im sorry, mr. President. That is just a drawing. No, i know, but where is the lady the drawing is based on you dont just make that
Oh, this is a filmed interview the sun always rises . No, i did it again. [ laughter ] donald did tom clancy love hunt for red october . Some international news. I mean, it is more a question in yesterday, iran claimed to have a question, you know created a replica of an american its more about a life philosophy drone they captured three years ago. I mean, yeah, it was all right, apparently, its such a it was good, it was great, it was fine realistic copy that when they turned it on, it immediately its more like, how can we make bombed iran. [ laughter ] ourselves better as people so jokes on them. How can we learn from this situation tonight . This is crazy. [ laughter ] seth gotcha. And thats what im happy ohio police are investigating about. Who broke into president i felt like we were teaching people we werent, like, showing a james garfields tomb to steal a sketch we were teaching people. We were growing and, you know, set of commemorative spoons. This is a template for i dont kno
Reportedly expecting and sponsored by margaritas. Planning on reopening the margaritas, thank you. I love you country on may 1st, as in the t according to a new report, illegal marijuana sales in up next, oh, its the new york have risen by 50 tangerines during the lockdown and the best part is, now your dealer doesnt a very personal easter want to stay and hang out. Quarantine float for me because you sure . Once every two weeks, my husband you dont want some of this weed buys a giant bag of tangerines you just sold me . Nah now, we have a mix of fresh ones no, man, im going to hit it. And old ones got planet earth on bluray you want to stick around you always stick around. Nah fun fact, ive never seen my husband eat a tangerine. Im going to go. He buys them, brings them home, and never throws them away and finally, a woman at the new Orleans Airport was arrested over the weekend for obscenity lets hear it for tangerines oh, weve got a beautiful crowd after she tried to book a flight o
Sandwiches again [ laughter ] President Trump was impeached today. Though i think its a little like having a raccoon in your garage and poking it with a broom. Its still there, its just mad now. [ light laughter ] President Trump was on twitter during todays Impeachment Vote and accused democrats of carrying out, quote, an assault on america and an assault on the Republican Party filled with atrocious lies by the radical left. Oh my god, stop yelling. [ laughter ] i feel like we elected a 2 00 a. M. Mattress commercial as president. Why do you always have to use all caps honestly i cant wait until trump is finally out of office and the only time we see all caps is when joe biden smiles. [ laughter ] according to a new report, women worldwide will not receive equal pay to men until the year 2277 in that case, let it all burn, said greta thunberg. [ cheers and applause a new study has found that iceland is the most genderequal country in the world, because it turns out its pretty hard to
Clintons so much, he sure is turning into one [ laughter ] congresswoman alexandria ocasiocortez will be joining senator Bernie Sanders at a Campaign Event in las vegas and theyll blend right in because that is the average age difference in las vegas. [ laughter ] the [ applause ] the food blog eater published an article today about what president ial hopeful andrew yang eats on the campaign trail they were originally doing the article on Bernie Sanders, but it got pretty boring [ laughter ] according to a new study, half of democrats believe there should be a maximum age for president s and that age should be however old trump was yesterday. [ light laughter ] according to forbes magazine, a 5yearold youtube star from russia made 18 million this year, 1 million from youtube and the rest for information she dug up on joe biden. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] Newsweek Newsweek has published a new article profiling a experimental study conducted 20 years ago that observed eight couples