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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131031

Threat to your marriage the old threat was replaced by a younger one. laughter then, how is Technology Changing t. V. News . Tweet me your thoughts with hashtag pointless tweeting. laughter and my guest, jack andraka, is a 16yearold who invented an early test for pancreatic cancer but you enjoy that Bumper Sticker for making honor roll. laughter theres a global wine shortage. Great, now people in book clubs will actually have to read. This is the colbert report cheers and applause cheers and applause audience chanting stephen . Stephen welcome to the report, everybody, good to have you with us. Thank you so much. cheers and applause thank you so much. Please, ladies and gentlemen. Sit down, folks. You know, i like giving you good news but im afraid its sad to say this congress right now is the least popular of all time. Just thinking about whats going on on capitol hill makes people nauseous. Nausea, by the way, more popular than congress. laughter and republicans in congress are the m

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131105

The stipulation they could vote against having voted for it. Proving that republicans may not be bipartisan but they may be bipolar. laughter . cheers and applause and these brave 27 statesmen led by Mitch Mcconnell took this stand for the noblest of reasons to get reelected. I for one cannot wait for the campaign ads so i didnt. Jim . Mitch mcconnell claims to be a smallgovernment conservative but he voted with the democrats to raise the debt ceiling. But Mitch Mcconnell knows that was wrong. He took a stand against Mitch Mcconnell. laughter Mitch Mcconnell, wrong for kentucky. Vote change. Vote Mitch Mcconnell. laughter im Mitch Mcconnell and i approve this message. No i dont laughter cheers and applause stephen folks, with an ad like that one one of them cant lose. laughter nation, you watch the show, you know my middle name is danger. But my first name is were all in and my last name is run for your lives. This is the threatdown. cheers and applause folks, traditional marriage is u

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131031

Here is your moment of zen. Im going to i is a for the last time that the gentlemen on the left be removed and ask the officer to remove. If i see one pore example of that, i will ask you all to be removed. Stephen tonight, a new threat to your marriage the old threat was replaced by a younger one. laughter then, how is Technology Changing t. V. News . Tweet me your thoughts with hashtag pointless tweeting. laughter and my guest, jack andraka, is a 16yearold who invented an early test for pancreatic cancer but you enjoy that Bumper Sticker for making honor roll. laughter theres a global wine shortage. Great, now people in book clubs will actually have to read. This is the colbert report cheers and applause cheers and applause audience chanting stephen . Stephen welcome to the report, everybody, good to have you with us. Thank you so much. cheers and applause thank you so much. Please, ladies and gentlemen. Sit down, folks. You know, i like giving you good news but im afraid its sad to

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131031

Jon thats our show, join us tomorrow at 11 00, here is your moment of zen. Im going to i is a for the last time that the gentlemen on the left be removed and ask the officer to remove. If i see one pore example of that, i will ask you all to be removed. Stephen tonight, a new threat to your marriage the old threat was replaced by a younger one. laughter then, how is Technology Changing t. V. News . Tweet me your thoughts with hashtag pointless tweeting. laughter and my guest, jack andraka, is a 16yearold who invented an early test for pancreatic cancer but you enjoy that Bumper Sticker for making honor roll. laughter theres a global wine shortage. Great, now people in book clubs will actually have to read. This is the colbert report cheers and applause cheers and applause audience chanting stephen . Stephen welcome to the report, everybody, good to have you with us. Thank you so much. cheers and applause thank you so much. Please, ladies and gentlemen. Sit down, folks. You know, i like

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131101

I for one cannot wait for the campaign ads so i didnt. Jim . Mitch mcconnell claims to be a smallgovernment conservative but he voted with the democrats to raise the debt ceiling. But Mitch Mcconnell knows that was wrong. He took a stand against Mitch Mcconnell. laughter Mitch Mcconnell, wrong for kentucky. Vote change. Vote Mitch Mcconnell. laughter im Mitch Mcconnell and i approve this message. No i dont laughter cheers and applause stephen folks, with an ad like that one one of them cant lose. laughter nation, you watch the show, you know my middle name is danger. But my first name is were all in and my last name is run for your lives. This is the threatdown. cheers and applause folks, traditional marriage is under attack and this time its not just from the gays although ive got to say, theyre not helping. Look at Neil Patrick Harris family halloween photo. audience reacts come to my house, i have funsized snickers. laughter no, the real threat to marriage is threat number three div

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