The joeys are here today. So glad i missed that song. Next, put sunscreen on my kids. Growing up, i dont even think my parents knew what sunscreen was. My father used to lather me up with olive oil so i could get a beautiful tan at the age of three. Then snack. Then lunch. And when theyre done with lunch then we snack again. Then i take the kids on a walk where somehow, i am the only one walking. Then its nap time, for me. Next, i watch eight minutes of tangled, four minutes of trolls, and 30 minutes of cinderella. Then i negotiate how many bites of dinner equals a popsicle treat. Then its bath time where i somehow proceed to get more wet than the kids who are inside the bathtub. Next is story time. Then bed time. Then i cry in a corner wondering if i am spending enough time with my kids. I want to set the record straight on something tonight. Quarantine . Was invented by italians. The word quarantine comes from the italian words quaranta giorni, which mean 40 days. During the plague,
Bets. People keep saying i remind them of someone, and i finally figured it out. Im a cross between walter marcado, and a troll doll. Just so you know, i didnt actually dye my hair. I just got scared, because the postmates guy showed up without a mask. Mayor garcetti just said that los angeles may face another stayathome order. A second lockdown. Here in la, were just calling it a reboot. Fuller house. If youre like me and you didnt bother to get in shape for beach season, congratulations you are a winner you know, its not fair that rich people get to quarantine in huge mansions and poor people have to do it in tiny little apartments. I feel like this is the second time, we should switch it up, right . Oh, you were in a bel air estate the first time . This time . A studio in compton. Pack your bags, trevor hey i want to say hello to my virtual amigo. The only mexican to ever marry a karen. Guillermo guillermo hi, everybody hey, george, you look like fabio. Thanks. How are you doing. Gu
Myself called lopez tonight. Its been a few years, but they say hosting late night is like riding a bike. We do it because weve had too many duis. Were going to have a lot of fun here tonight. Well, i know im going to have a lot of fun. For all i know you saw my hair and changed the channel 10 seconds ago. This hair is something new for me. I decided 59 was the perfect age to start looking like a West Hollywood brunch waiter. I went to my barber and said i want to look like a cross between danny trejo and justin bieber. Brown skin and blond hair. This is what we in the Latinx Community call hedging our bets. People keep saying i remind them of someone, and i finally figured it out. Im a cross between walter marcado, and a troll doll. Just so you know, i didnt actually dye my hair. I just got scared, because the postmates guy showed up without a mask. Mayor garcetti just said that los angeles may face another stayathome order. A second lockdown. Here in la, were just calling it a reboot
And now get hbo max included. Limited availability in select areas. Call 1. 877. Only. Att first, the sir Francis Drake statue was taken down, then less than 24 hours later, the name came off of the high school. The governors new strike team. Their mission, fixed states overloaded unemployment system. Were locked into our typical summer pattern for now. Ill show you whats changing for the weekend coming up. San franciscos latest weapon against covid. Millions of dollars in support for immigrants and undocumented families. Abc 7 news starts right now. Building a better bay area for a safe and secure future. This is abc 7 news. So, yeah, its a little scary for me because, to me, its life and death. Tonight, relief is finally on te way o californians who have been unable to get unemployment benefits. Governor newsom announced a new strike team to address the numerous problems and the backlog. This is an issue abc 7 and 7 on your side have been on since day one. In fact, weve received abou
Ill never forget when jimmy called my agent about this gig. My agent said theres no way in hell adam driver will do this, but i also represent sean hayes. And i want to take a second to say hi to my husband whos back at home supporting me right now. Hi, scotty, i love you. And if you even think about touching the horse puzzle without me, ill suffocate you in your sleep. Now that were all having fun, im going to tell you something that will ruin your month. It turns out that coronavirus might be spread through air conditioning. Experts say ac can spread coronavirus by creating strong air currents that can move the droplets and contribute to increased risk. This is why i stay cool the Old Fashioned way, by getting drunk and falling down a well. Wow, remember 2019 when air conditioners were only killing us by melting polar ice caps and falling out of apartment windows . That was quaint, wasnt it . Remember that . I will say this, if giant windblowing fans are to blame, we may need to quar