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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130109

Jon thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. Your bowel has been reconstructed. As im walking to the press room, i feel like i have to pass a little gas here. Im walking by myself who is going to know captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by stephen tonight, science finds the key to a long, healthy life. Whatever it is, i bet it tastes good fried. [ laughter ] then, controversy over the new bin laden film. They shouldnt have let him do his own singing. [ laughter ] and my guest, chris kluwe, is an nfl punter and gay rights advocate. Wow, pretty brave for an nfl player to admit hes a punter. [ laughter ] jimmy kimmel starts in his new 11 35 time slot tonight. But since hes my direct competition, i refuse to mention him. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the report. [crowd chanting see stephen] [cheer

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130110

Stephen tonight, science finds the key to a long, healthy life. Whatever it is, i bet it tastes good fried. [ laughter ] then, controversy over the new bin laden film. They shouldnt have let him do his own singing. [ laughter ] and my guest, chris kluwe, is an nfl punter and gay rights advocate. Wow, pretty brave for an nfl player to admit hes a punter. [ laughter ] jimmy kimmel starts in his new 11 35 time slot tonight. But since hes my direct competition, i refuse to mention him. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the report. [crowd chanting see stephen] [cheers and applause] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, folks. I have to thank you for that and i want to thank you for joining me in here, out there nation, we all know the economys not in great shape. Just today the dow dropped fifty five of whatever i

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