Uses mac. The author of government gone wild kristen tate. And he is more nervous than hillary taking a polygraph, joe mackey. We are going with this. Thats the wore. Thats the worst. It is unibrow, sam morrell. And do you know how long it takes to drain a body of all of its blood . He does. It is the president of diligence llc, mike baker. Lets start the show. Donald trump has lost the literary vote. Hundreds of authors including steven king and david eggers signed a petition against the billionaire businessman. And who moves American Opinion like amy tan . The position title said the political candidate who appears to the moo violent element in society . Who encourages violence and demands immediate and forceful response . And what could be more forceful than a petition . Is this the ploat of my favorite is this the plot of my favorite thriller . Or do they think they wrote the book on trump . A heartbreaking staggering ignorance. If you ask me they are all members of the joy less cl
I love you, america. Segal has d in. And he has the hair of a keg stand champion. Comedian scott chaplain. Lets start the show. President ial Elections Come down to one thing. Who has the catchier catch phrase. It is the new slogan that can be her ticket to beating trump. See if you can guess what it is. What is is the big idea of the candidacy . We are stronger together. We are stronger together. We are stronger together. We are stronger together. If you werent sure her new slogan is we are stronger together. It is a long line of campaign slogans. There was im with her and mick america whole again. Love trumps hate. As seen on television. P is scandal free for 17 days and counting and my personal favorite, i know you dont really like me and im not that good at selling myself unless it is to special interest and foreign interest, but i am not donald trump and shouldnt that count for something . We made the long one up. For hillary suggestion tweet them to slogan for hillary. Slogan, th
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah lets welcome tonights guest. He has the heart of a war and the dimples of brad pith. His new book, in the arena. [ applause ] sexy man. Not her. For her, the glass is always half empty, because she gulped the other half. Joanne nosuchinsky, shes a drunk. And last nights corn, he shows up every morn. The sexier half of imus in the morning, bernie mcguirk. [ applause ] shes like a runners cramp, sharp and painful, katherine timpf. Hes smart and funny like a professor in his underwear, the great sam morrell. [ applause ] but first, like flatulence trailing you into a crowded elevator, Hillary Clinton cant shake her emails. A state department claims releasing them from three of clips former aides would take 75 years. Which would take us to 2091 a. D. 2091, ill be 127 years young, and married to a dog. Plus it will be legal then. Lets ask the state department why it takes so long. I refer you to the court filing. Its a very broad range involving a number of people over a pe
She was a conservative at amerson college. The columnist and the author of the new book government gone wild. He speaks english gooder than i does. The columbia professor of study. And she is the mother of three and there is probably a party at her house tonight. Comedian kyle lacasio. And his 5 00 shadow is only right twice a day. Sitting next to me is comedian dave smith. Lets start the show. It was the biggest story over the long weekend. Video of a little boy if peril at a zoo prompted outrage and endless debate. Terrifying of the i dont think that was the right video, but that was pretty scary. No chickens were harmed in that video unlike harambe the gorilla killed after the child fell into the enclosure. The cincinnati zoo stand by its decision and many experts agree harambe had to pay the price. Critics argue the zoo should have considered other options and many want the boys parents investigated. A position called justice for harambe has 300,000 sigma tours. Internet commenters
I used to get the rolling of the eyes. Shes the clean comic. Sorry for you why are loss. When you can be just as funny as those who are dirty. Im clean now, right . My job is to make you laugh. Just be funny. Thats all. The first thing that comes to my mind when i hear the term clean comedy, oh, god, no. Then i remember, oh, there is clean comedy i really like. Left handed people do not like that the word left is so often associated with negative things. Left hand compliment. What are we having for dinner . Leftovers. You go to a party. Theres nobody there. Where did everybody go . They left. Mostly when i hear clean comedy, its boring. Let me decide. There is a vegetarian hot pocket for those of us who dont want to eat meat but still would like diarrhea. Hot pocket if i had to write it out, clean comedy would be no swearing and nothing that is what i consider offensive. There is a standard that says, you can trust me with your audience. We wont just throw it all out there to be offens