All right t. Okay. Yes. Yes s. Happy. Happy monday. L of y good to see all of you. Ou good to see all of you. Except foro seof. So at a Campaign Stop in pittsburgh, joe biden toldo d supporters to send me to congress. I know. Aides clarified that he actually meant to say block shadow. Also in pittsburgh, the police is reducingty the number of cops on duty from three m to 7 a. M. And calls it not considered progress. Emergencies will nowes w be assigned to a telephoneil unit. Pr police stations will also be placing this sign on Theirec Precinct Doors as spring break begins in florida. Theyre alreadyasin up for wt the wet tshirt contest. Herest a photo of one of thett top contestants. Wel l, just gratuitous. Res no reason for that, really. At the oscars last nighton. , i people won in most major categories, including best actories incr, best actress, beo and best director. Well, at Leasrst The Host was black. I thank. Ill take it. Oh, i feel so good. G tha and asnk usual. The In Memoriam
To the octagon, the tale of twoo campaigns trump hailed as biden nailed it my way, where youre asking me a question q about my political choices, trying to shame me as a rape victim. I find it disgusting choices. Disgusti the truth about the medias Shame Campaign that. Biden apologizes to the migrant who killed blake and riley. And i shouldnt. Usually, unless its undocumented, im notckin going to treat any any any of these people with disrespect. Plus,f what is sports and s politics have mixed since the revolution a on the fields of valley forge, George Washington spent days playing rounders o forge, an eai of baseball with his soldiers, and since then, savvncy politicians have used Athletic Competitions to score votes. William taft became the first president to throw out the opening pitch, doing it fro from his seat in the stands at £330. Rio knew taft had an arm . Richard nixon became the first president to sit in the stands at an nfl game. Redskins, cowboysnf. Hes smiling because h
Ah, theyll be like this for hours. Hello dad, hello dad, hello da. Uhoh. Good bunnies. Ahh heres why you should switch fo to duckduckgo on all your Devie Duckduckgo comes with a builtn engine like google, but its pi and doesnt spy on your searchs and duckduckgo lets you browse like chrome, but it blocks cooi and creepy ads that follow youa from google and other companie. And theres no catch. Its fre. We make money from ads, but they dont follow you aroud join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today. All those right. Oh, youve never been lost that. You could tell rocket money cnn news Closed Captioning brought to you by mesobook. Com. Mesothelioma. Its all we do with local offices throughout the country or does help you get the compensation you deserve, 800 to eight to 44, 44 happening now, donald trump tightens his grip on the Republican Party as his last remaining gop rival, nikki haley exits the president ial race and is on
But first, lets welcome tonights guests. He sells his fans razors in case they prefer suicide. Comedian david o. Back can we go back to angelo real quick . Doesnt he look like a member of kiss without the makeup. All right. Shes such a makeu. They put her on philly cheesesteak. Fox business anchoy cheer Lauren Simonetti has published opinions terrified that minions Fox News Contributor truly are. And finally shes like Barbie Small Blond and as fake hair cut. Fox news contributor kat timpf. All right we have before we get to some new stories and we have plenty of them. Lets do this. Yeah. Regs, leftovers. Mm. Yeah, its leftovers whereis i read the jokes. We did news this week, and as always, its my first time reading them, so if they , will tie joe mackey to a table and then let a group of monkeys rip off his face. E an he might be an improvement. Yeah, i know. He is homely. Here we go. Brian. Kill me. Took on tyrus in a Wrestling Bout this week in a matchwrestl called the Unstoppable F
To lift his water. Yes. Happy wednesday, everybody. So president bidens erybody with theannel Weather Channel aired today. I know. And the forecastai partly senile with a chance of precipitation in his pants. The only things cloudy were joes memories, especially when it cammoriese to phone calls wih hunters business associates. The one thing he didnt s businw how to touch someone without their permission. Are you prepared to declare a National Emergency with respect to Climate Change . Im already done that. Is the Existential Threat to mankindexistent. So youve already declared that National Emergency . Well manity. , it practically you a bk on it. Thanks. Appreciate it. Yeah. Thats the first time any woman has said appreciate it. After Making Contact with. E is but if hes really concerned about the climate, you know what he should rd aboue climat. You should have eaten that bug. The tasty. Buaten thet tiny carbon footpri. But it is so cute. It reminds me of how joes is always brushing