Patrick, but judging by the way people honor him, his most famous miracle must have been turning nine pints of beep bier into 10 pints of vomit. Apparently, this is supposed to be a religious holiday. Now, im no biblical scholar, but i dont remember jesus telling his followers to commit literally every sin possible until their bodies shut off. Thats not something i remember. Look, obviously, st. Patricks day isnt very big in africa. Youre not going to get a nigerian guy who is like, today, everyone is irish. laughter in america, though, a lot of people dont know this, black people are the whole reason st. Patricks day happens. You see, because by not participating, you can have six million drunk white people screaming on the streets. Yeah. But if one black guy showed up, the cops would be like, okay, shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down its a riot its a riot so youre welcome. Youre welcome, white people, enjoy it. Lets turn to the big story tonight. By now youve probably all heard
Suit yourselves, guys. Okay, honey. Lets lose the tops. All right. Got my lube. Okay. All right. Here we go. Dan yella. This is cool. This is fun. Its like a dream come true, honestly. All right. Mmm. Potent smell. Smells like sandwiches. Nice. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central trevor welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Youre in for a treat tonight. Our guest joining us, theo james is here cheers and applause theo james. But first things first, happy st. Patricks day, everybody. cheers and applause yeah. Yeah. I have to be honest i dont really know much about st. Patrick, but judging by the way people honor him, his most famous miracle must have been turning nine pints of beep bier into 10 pints of vomit. Apparently, this is supposed to be a religious holiday. Now, im no biblical scholar,
They got em, its over i love you. I love you, too [all crying] so wait, thats it . What about the chinese invasion . I really dont care anymore, butters. You see, ive learned something today. As americans, our fear of seeing another country become powerful can turn us into monsters. Watching how crazy you went, watching you just shoot people in the dick like that, it made me realize that i want america to be safe, but not at the cost of losing its dignity. Id rather us be chinese than a nation of unethical dickshooters. You think about it. I cant believe they put em in jail. I thought that movie was pretty good. Captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is. cheering, applause welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Youre in for a treat tonight. Our guest joining us, theo james is here cheering, applause theo james. But first things first. Happy st.
Ive created a monster. Go away, go away. Bud rudd. I dont get it. Democrats like him. Republicans like him. Why wont the republicans even consider him . They simply do not believe, they say, that a president in this heated of an election cycle who is a lame duck should be able to nominate somebody. The decision the senate announced weeks ago remains about a principle and not a person. The senate will continue to observe the biden rule. Trevor Mitch Mcconnell seems like a bit of a dick. laughter well, just in principle, not as a person. laughter the biden rule isnt the rule. It was a proposal in a speech that biden gave in 1992, where he argued against considering a Supreme Court nominee during that election year. So, yeah, dont get me wrong. Biden messed up, but its not a rule. Just because you propose something, doesnt make it a rule. And that includes tonightue dont have to kiss these people just because theyre irish. You dont have to do that. laughter there is no biden rule. Okay, w
Welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Youre in for a treat tonight. Our guest joining us, theo james is here cheering, applause theo james. But first things first. Happy st. Patricks day, everybody. cheering, applause yes. Yeah. I have to be honest, i dont really know much about st. Patrick, uh, but judging by the way people honor him, his most famous miracle must have been turning nine pints of beer into ten pints of vomit. laughter uh. Apparently. Apparently, this is supposed to be a religious holiday. Now, im no biblical scholar, but i dont remember jesus telling his followers to commit literally every sin possible laughter until their bodies shut off. Thats not something i remember. Uh, look, obviously, the truth is that st. Patricks day isnt very big in africa. Like, you know, youre not gonna get a nigerian guy whos like, ah, today everyone is irish. laughter uh. In america, though. In america, though a lot