Dear Prudence,
My sister is getting married to the man of her dreams next year. My mom has been explicitly homophobic since I came out to her about a decade ago, but in recent years we have settled into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” relationship. I’m married, and my mother’s demand has been to never share a room with my partner. As a result, I don’t attend “family” events if my partner isn’t invited. My mother views this as my choice despite her choice to be homophobic. A few of my siblings say they aren’t homophobic but consistently facilitate my mom’s homophobia to keep the peace.