Dear Prudence,
My sister is getting married to the man of her dreams next year. My mom has been explicitly homophobic since I came out to her about a decade ago, but in recent years we have settled into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” relationship. I’m married, and my mother’s demand has been to never share a room with my partner. As a result, I don’t attend “family” events if my partner isn’t invited. My mother views this as my choice despite her choice to be homophobic. A few of my siblings say they aren’t homophobic but consistently facilitate my mom’s homophobia to keep the peace.
Dear Prudence,
My wife decided two months ago to quit smoking pot. We’re both daily smokers, and our use admittedly increased during the pandemic. She’s tried to cut back a few times but wasn’t successful, so she quit for good. She attends online Marijuana Anonymous meetings, where it was recommended that she should stop drinking as well, because they think there is a risk of switching one dependency for another. So she is pursuing sobriety with a vengeance. I feel terrible, but I don’t like my wife very much when she’s sober. She refers to herself as a “recovering addict” and is seeing an actual substance abuse counselor (as opposed to her regular therapist). I think this is ridiculous because pot isn’t addictive and her habit wasn’t that bad to begin with. She’s full of “affirmations” now, and I hear her reciting them multiple times per day, and she sounds so pretentious. She relies on a very specific routine and will not deviate from it, even on weekends.