Its because a wizard alien has cast his mighty spell. [cheers and applause] oh, im so glad its over, sharon, arent you . We are now with the young boys who helped stop the alien. Boys, how does it feel to be free of your illness . I guess it feels great. Thanks. Yeah, it feels great i never wanna see bush again i finally paid a lady to show me hers. You wanna know whats under that bush . Nothing but a pair of sick joker lips i am so happy that i am cured and no longer have any desire to have sex with anyone but my beautiful wife. Now i can be faithful, and my wife wont feel any need to get revenge by sleeping with a bunch of guys. I got sick this morning a sea was storming. So i officially announce my return to golf [cheers and applause] what the hell . This games all boring now. Yeah, wheres all the fighting . Dude, screw this. Who wants to hit a dumb, little ball around . Yeah, golf is stupid again. Captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from Comedy Central in new york this is
Love. Last we checked in the embattled Obama Administration was making a simple promise to the american people. By the end of this month we anticipate that it is going to be working the way that it will suppose to. It will take to the end of november for an optimally functioning web site. We will have it fully functioning by the end of november. Jon fully functioning by november . But as of now for some reason the site continues to give people hepatitis. We dont know. laughter well, today the president called a press conference to make a slight adjustment to the promise of a fully functional web site by photograph 30th. The web site will work much better on november 30th, december 1st than it worked certainly on october 1st. Thats a pretty low barment by the time we look back on this next year the people are going to a this is working well. Jon let, let me be clear. When i said end of november, i did not say which november. laughter let me be clear about that. cheers and applause jon a
Functioning by the end of november. Jon fully functioning by november . But as of now for some reason the site continues to give people hepatitis. We dont know. laughter well, today the president called a press conference to make a slight adjustment to the promise of a fully functional web site by photograph 30th. The web site will work much better on november 30th, december 1st than it worked certainly on october 1st. Thats a pretty low barment by the time we look back on this next year the people are going to a this is working well. Jon let, let me be clear. When i said end of november, i did not say which november. laughter let me be clear about that. cheers and applause jon all right. The president didnt just call all of us together to lower our expectations for the web site. There are going to be ups and downs during the course of my presidency. I think i said early on when i was running i am not a per income man and i will not be a perfect president. But i will wake up every sing
Jon welcome to the show, my name is jon stewart. We have a nice one for you tonight. The great Geoffrey Rush will be joining us. Lets begin tonight with healthcare. Gov, rhymes with love. Last we checked in the embattled Obama Administration was making a simple promise to the american people. By the end of this month we anticipate that it is going to be working the way that it will suppose to. It will take to the end of november for an optimally functioning web site. We will have it fully functioning by the end of november. Jon fully functioning by november . But as of now for some reason the site continues to give people hepatitis. We dont know. laughter well, today the president called a press conference to make a slight adjustment to the promise of a fully functional web site by photograph 30th. The web site will work much better on november 30th, december 1st than it worked certainly on october 1st. Thats a pretty low barment by the time we look back on this next year the people ar
You want a ham sandwich . Yes [harmonica music] wonk, wonk from Comedy Central in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon welcome to the show, my name is jon stewart. We have a nice one for you tonight. The great Geoffrey Rush will be joining us. Lets begin tonight with healthcare. Gov, rhymes with love. Last we checked in the embattled Obama Administration was making a simple promise to the american people. By the end of this month we anticipate that it is going to be working the way that it will suppose to. It will take to the end of november for an optimally functioning web site. We will have it fully functioning by the end of november. Jon fully functioning by november . But as of now for some reason the site continues to give people hepatitis. We dont know. laughter well, today the president called a press conference to make a slight adjustment to the promise of a fully functional web site by photograph 30th.