Hit the earth than see either donald trump or Hillary Clinton be elected president. [ laughter ] larry to be fair, giant meteor did pick Elizabeth Warren as its running mate. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] people love her. People do love her. But speaking of extinctionlevel events, the Clinton Campaign avoided a big one earlier today when the fbi wrapped up its investigation into hillarys email scandal. All right, fbi, what are your findings . The American People are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] larry wow. Okay, well, i guess thats it. Im sorry. This is the fbi. We cannot find a case that would support bringing criminal charges on these facts. We are expressing to justice our view that no charges are appropriate in this case. [ cheers and applause ] larry yay. Yay. [ laughter ] because in this cycle, scraping just below the bare minimum for criminality counts as electable [ laughter ] [ applause ] all right. Whatever. Okay. So what e
Jim gaffigan, everybody cheers and applause but first, happy belated fourth of july, everyone. I hope you had an amazing weekend because mine truly was. I actually got asked to join taylor swifts squad. laughter yeah. She gives you the flag bikini when she sends the text. laughter it was really cool. What a great holiday. Getting the day off. Celebrating independence. The perfect time in america to achieve something historic. After a nearly five year long journey juno spacecraft sent a message from 540 million miles away. Nailsa scientists at the jet propulling lab in Southern California are calling this the hardest thing theyve ever done, successfully putting a jupiters orbit. After a 1. 7 billionmile journey we hit our burn targets within one second on a target just tens of kilometers large. Isnt that incredible . Trevor did he just bump into the mic . While talking about how precise they are . laughter applause there is no room for error every millimeter counts oh, sorry, sorry. lau
Every millimeter counts oh, sorry, sorry. laughter sending a probe more than half a billion miles away and putting it in orbit around jupiter is so amazing. What is even more amazing about america, is that wasnt even the most amazing thing that happened this weekend. And joey jaws chestnut hasp set matt stonie to regain the title at the july 4th hot dog eating contest in coney island. 70 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes 70 hot dogs and buns trevor 70 hot dogs you guys, do you know how many hot dogs the winner ate in 1980 . Nine nine was enough to win you the title. Today thats the average customer order, my friends. What has changed . Not the human body but mans will and determination. Thats what makes america so great, an appetite for innovation in every realm. Im jealous, we dont have eating contests in africa. If you have food, youve already swofnlt simple as that. laughter you you have hot dogs . Then you are the winner applause of course, the giant news today is all about Hillary C
Club in st. Paul, minnesota, and jims new special freedumb is available right now on netflix. And you can follow me on twitter nikkiglaser. Next week, we have katie nolan and ron funches, so be sure to tune in. Heres your happy ending, guys. Good night. [ cheers and applause ] ill ask you to squeeze a couple of times. Theyre like kegels for your butt, so, like, begels. Kegels actually activate both of them at the same time. Can i call them begels . Can i call them begels . From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much, everybody im trevor noah. Tonights guest, im so excited, a great comedian and aficionado of food. Jim gaffigan, everybody cheers and applause but first, happy belated fourth of july, everyone. I hope you had an amazing weekend because mine truly was. I actually got asked to join taylor swifts squad. laughter yeah. She gives you the flag bikini when
When she sends the text. laughter it was really cool. What a great holiday. Getting the day off. Celebrating independence. The perfect time in america to achieve something historic. After a nearly five year long journey juno spacecraft sent a message from 540 million miles away. Nailsa scientists at the jet propulling lab in Southern California are calling this the hardest thing theyve ever done, successfully putting a jupiters orbit. After a 1. 7 billionmile journey we hit our burn targets within one second on a target just tens of kilometers large. Isnt that incredible . Trevor did he just bump into the mic . While talking about how precise they are . laughter applause there is no room for error every millimeter counts oh, sorry, sorry. laughter sending a probe more than half a billion miles away and putting it in orbit around jupiter is so amazing. What is even more amazing about america, is that wasnt even the most amazing thing that happened this weekend. And joey jaws chestnut ha