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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240711

So pick up hallmarks the dr. Atlas holiday card collection today because dr. Atlas says to ignore the c. D. C. And dont fear the pilgrim reaper. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, hes dying up there. Plus stephen welcomes ll cool j, dave grohl and musical guest foo fighters, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. Now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome to a late show. I dont know why im yelling. Welcome to a late show. Its just you and me. Im Stephen Colbert, your host. Mark, chris, evie is here. Always a lovely night. Youre looking lovely over there. Folks, as you always do thats not news. Folks, as much as its hard to contemplate, our nation is in the grips of a seemingly endless plague, and he wont leave the white house. Its been 12 days since the president lost the election and he continues to pursue his strong legal argument of but i dont wanna ill catch you up on the latest president

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240711

Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Sarah Paulson Henry Golding, musical guest car seat headrest and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. Hi thank you very much. Wow. Oh, thank you very much, everybody. Please thank you so much, and welcome, welcome, welcome, to studio 6a in new york city [ cheers and applause this is the tonight show. Thank you for watching [ cheers ] lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys ealier today, rudy guliani held a press conference [ laughter ] he held a press conference about the election, and lets just say in the history of insane rudy press conferences, this could be his masterpiece. Here are some of the highlights good afternoon. Did you all watch my cousin vinny how many fingers do i got up . And she says, three. That could have been mickey mouse. That could have b

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240711

Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests post malone, Phoebe Robinson musical guest 2 chainz and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. Thank you oh right back at you. Oh, right back at you. Please welcome oh, it feels good. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show, everybody, here from new york city. [ cheers and applause you guys, it is friday [ cheers and applause all right, lets get to the news and jokes well, all eyes are on washington this weekend where Trump Supporters are holding a a big event to protest the election supporters of President Trump are expected to descend on the nations capitol saturday for whats been dubbed the million maga march [ laughter ] jimmy usually when you see a million angry Trump Supporters this time of year, its because starbucks released their holiday cups [ la

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240711

Announcer tonight on late night with seth meyers. John mulaney nbc News White House correspondent Kristen Welker music from Tracy Chapman featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and now se meyers. Seth welcome to late night. Hows everybody sorry, im just checking 5 38 okay lets get to the news. During a Campaign Rally in florida last night, President Trump suggested he might fire Infectious Disease expert dr. Anthony fauci after the crowd began a fire fauci chant. See, this is how you know fauci is beloved even a trump rally crowd didnt chant lock him up. Free fauci to pursue other opportunities after supporters chanted fire fauci, at the Campaign Rally in florida last night, President Trump suggested that he may fire fauci after the election, and said, quote, i appreciate the advice, and somehow a crowd in florida is still only his third worst adviser. Yesterday was the beginning of daylight savings time, because even though we live in a deeply divided nation, the one thing we can all

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240711

Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight join jimmy and his guests Michael Strahan, brene brown, musical guest patty smyth, and featuring the legendary roots crew and now here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh hi, everybody. Hello. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. We are here from studio 6a in new york city. [ cheers and applause thank you so much for watching thanks for being here. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, its been five days since the election was called, and President Trump still has no plans to concede. Pretty soon were going to need Vladimir Putin to stage an intervention [ laughter ] look, it actually isnt my birthday we were worried about you. [ light laughter ] yeah, we could be working on the pandemic or the economy, but instead we had to lure trump out of the white house like a cat burrowed under the couch. [ laughter ] tru

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