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accurately capturing that younger people are making friends online and building friendships online so to that point we over met once. i have never met marisa in person, but we have facetimed and talked on the phone and texted regularly, and i consider her a close dear friend, and so friendship i don t think can be defined the way it used to be. yeah. it needs to kind of be viewed with a lens of what does digital friendship look like? it means just as much as an in-person friendship does as well. i mean, marisa, you and i have been friends for 20 years and have met in person many times over the course of those 20 years. but i think of friendships like ours because we were in different places had sort of gotten out of focus and came back into focus during the pandemic because all of a sudden location didn t matter, right? you were no longer just hanging out with a person who was around the corner. all of a sudden you were zooming out and locking at who you
friend. joining me now to discuss the state of american friendship, dr. sue varma assistant professor of psychiatry, marisa lee, author of the forthcoming book, and author of the forthcoming book where speaking the life lessons of kamala harris. it is great to see you all. doctor, i ll start with you. that survey shows the number were americans with best friends has been declining for decades. what do you think is behind that trend? i think a variety of reasons. one of the reasons might be that the fact that our mobility has increased. people are working far away from home. we saw that during the pandemic and the trend exploded even further and people want freedom
wanted your friends to be. it was also particularly relevant, marisa, because we were all going through a moment of collective grief, and so we needed those friendships more than ever. talk to me about why friendships are so important when we are processing a trauma. so, i mean, you know i have an entire chapter in grief is love on this concept of friendship and community, and there are two things that i think enable us to maintain these long-term friendships as well as my online friendship that i have with hitha who is a very real friend and that s, you know, being honest about where you are. you know, alicia was someone who i could reach out to this last year when i was having a hard time navigating a number of things in pandemic life, and i also think there is this piece about grace. like i think we re all really busy. everyone has these full lives. i know a lot of people are really struggling to figure out what life looks like in this, you know, kind of bizarre
friendships online so to that point we over met once. i have never met marisa in person, but we have facetimed and talked on the phone and texted regularly, and i consider her a close dear friend, and so friendship i don t think can be defined the way it used to be. yeah. it need to kind of be viewed with a lens of what does digital friendship look like? it means just as much as an in-person friendship does as well. i mean, marisa, you and i have been friends for 20 years and have met in person 20 times over the course of those 20 years but i think of friendships like ours because we were in different places had sort of gotten out of focus and came back into focus during the pandemic because all of a sudden location didn t matter, right? you were no longer just hanging out with a person who was around the corner. all of a sudden you were zooming out and locking at who you wanted your friends to be. it was also particularly relevant, marisa, because we were all going through a mom
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