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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130906

Segment indecision 2013. laughter the question on everyones mind who will fill mayor Michael Bloombergs shoes, tiny, tiny shoes. laughter hes very small. You i have a pair of his shoes right here. I took them from his arm other, i have his az rmoire as well. There we are, there are his little shoes. Im michael bloomberg. Im going to work. cheers and applause jon actually, very interesting. He puts these on every morning and commutes to work on the subway. Rat, he rides a rat because hes tiny. Its funny story, were actually laughter but im actually obviously i cant take the subway im too famous. I fly a pigeon to work. laughter but mr. Bloombergs third term ends this year. So he is done unless he manages to pull a putin which no, not that, not riding around with his nippulars showing. I mean just hanging around not leaving. Who shall take mayor bloombergs case. Democrats gather tuesday for the final debate and faced a tough line of questioning. When did all of you last take the subway.

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130906

Michael bloombergs shoes, tiny, tiny shoes. laughter hes very small. You i have a pair of his shoes right here. I took them from his arm other, i have his az rmoire as well. There we are, there are his little shoes. Im michael bloomberg. Im going to work. cheers and applause jon actually, very interesting. He puts these on every morning and commutes to work on the subway. Rat, he rides a rat because hes tiny. Its funny story, were actually laughter but im actually obviously i cant take the subway im too famous. I fly a pigeon to work. laughter but mr. Bloombergs third term ends this year. So he is done unless he manages to pull a putin which no, not that, not riding around with his nippulars showing. I mean just hanging around not leaving. Who shall take mayor bloombergs case. Democrats gather tuesday for the final debate and faced a tough line of questioning. When did all of you last take the subway. Give us a recent example of your own personal struggle to get by. Should bicyclists h

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130907

Clean up after her when shes done. laughter jon theres that charm that borders on the edge of dickishness. laughter Anthony Weiner, former congressman, turned amateur photographer laughter hes really about 10 man and 90 gristle at this point. [bleep] the mayorral campaign was designed as a humble bid for new york voters redemption and forgiveness but now it is somewhat noticeably curved a bit to the right a way from that premise. Really . Is it ambition, a hunger for the big job, the power . Hard to take you seriously, a hunger for the big job. I have a feeling i stepped into a monty python bid. The parade gets under way. Vote, vote, vote, vote if i if i am from jamaica . Jon call me banaa, am i right, huh . Cool runnings. Ah, seriously, you people sound ridiculous, vote for me for more of Anthony Weiners alienation of voters were joined by Jessica Williams in harlem. Any sign of Anthony Weiner campaigning up there . cheers and applause he was just here, jon. He flew through like an [b

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20130906

He comes back, opens his door, hes got a young asian boy. Hes got all three of them strapped down there, and hes explaining the positions, a, b, and c. And listen, everyone in heres like, a. The next shot, like, you see this blanket over what is [bleep] three people ass to mouth. But youre just, like, so excited. Like, take the blanket off. They start crawling, and all of a sudden, it happens. And then he turns like this and goes, im so sorry. When the doctor goes back downstairs. Human centipedes gone. Hes like, i know i left it down here. First of all, what i would have done in hour one is just [bleep] yanked away. Im out of here. The asian is like, listen, ive had enough of this. Right in front of the doctor just goes rah do you really wanna make it at this point . Right. So the girl in the back is like, uh, ive had enough. She dies. So now its just two dead cops, dead doctor, dead a, dead c. And the camera just pans out and, like, up into the sky. And thats the end of the movie. No

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