Said, quote, what in gods name is he doing . Where where have you been, joe . Joe biden is like your friend who wants to watch your favorite tv show with you but didnt see the first season what . Hes making meth i thought this fellow was a High School Teacher did he breaks bad . Yeah. Oh. Former Vice President joe biden held a Virtual Campaign event on monday with the asianamericana and Pacific Islanders victory fund and said that he has nicknamed President Trump president tweety because of his affinity for sending tweets. So we take you live now to President Trumps resignation speech whats that . Oh, hes not resigning why . Oh, because its a super lame nickname and melania calls him worse things in her sleep . Oh, i cant go live because i filmed this on an ipad five hours ago . Hows the future, by the way is anything any better oh, a little bit worse okay well, see you soon President Trump said yesterday hes taken an unproven antimalarial drug as, quote, an additional level of safety.
Featuring. Dave b and Travis Thompson and featuring the legendary roots cr. Questlove 770 a. T. L. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh yes welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. Youre at the show. Youre at the right show tonight. Well heres what were talking about, everybody. Its news out of washington. I read that congress is debating if President Trump should have the power to order a nuclear strike. [ audience ohs ] i guess right now its an even split between no and hell no. [ laughter ] [ applause ] dont let him they have a a good plan, though. Theyre going to replace the red button on his desk with the one that orders Office Supplies from staples. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] why do i keep getting all these ink cartridges . Sad [ laughter ] trump keeps tweeting that the Justice Department should investigate Hillary Clinton instead of his ties to russia. Wh
Musical guest macklemore, featuring. Dave b and Travis Thompson and featuring the legeary roots crew. Questlove 770 a. T. L. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh yes welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. Youre at the show. Youre at the right show tonight. Well heres what were talking about, everybody. Its news out of washington. I read that congress is debating if President Trump should have the power to order a nuclear strike. [ audience ohs ] i guess right now its an even split between no and hell no. [ laughter ] [ applause ] dont let him they have a a good plan, though. Theyre going to replace the red button on his desk with the one that orders Office Supplies from staples. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] why do i keep getting all these ink cartridges . Sad [ laughter ] trump keeps tweeting that the Justice Department should investigate Hillary Clinton instead
Democrats. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] senator ron johnson yesterday became the first gop senator to announce that he will not support the republican tax plan. Paul ryan called it a real kick in the where his balls should be. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] President Trump met with republican lawmakers in the basement of the capitol today just before they voted on the new tax reform bill, and nobody was more excited to see them down there than eric. Welcome to my basement, father [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] father come. The bucket is a chair. [ laughter ] President Trump delivered a statement at the white house yesterday about his 12day trip to asia. Said trump, it was so cool. They eat with these crazy what do they call it . Theyre really weird. Ive never seen them before. Oh, right. Napkins. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] President Trump reportedly joked to House Republicans today that he only likes between 30 to 40 of them. Dont worry, he says that all o
Its go time. Sir, the kids need you. Later lobster. Hurry lets go thanks for coming everyone we found this special house. For a super special family. Uh, wheres the special part . Thats where you all come in [ cheering ] here, i see a big tree. And a closet filled with holiday outfits dream houses do come true think theyll like it . Yep, theyre gonna love it. That adjusts on both sidesumber semito your ideal comfortly bed your sleep number setting. And snoring . Does your bed do that . Its the final days of our semiannual sale, where our c4 mattress with adjustable comfort on both sides is now only 1499. Save 300. Ends sunday. Visit sleepnumber. Com for a store near you. Before we start, i just want to say if anyone still doesnt have fios, please stay out of the way so your lag doesnt get us all killed, ben. Whats so good about fios anyway . Uh. Whats so great about a 100 fiberoptic network that makes your gaming system actually work awesomely . Hey. Did you take out the trash . Haha,