the attention of one young woman, a 26-year-old named gloria, a volunteer at the hospital where he sought treatment. they started dating and married in 1979. but for chapman, the marriage offered no honeymoon from his demons. just months later, his frenzied descent down the path to murder began. you don t usually get this kind of primary document. and the fact that he had it was extraordinary to me. chapman kept a detailed calendar of the manic months leading to lennon s death. you can almost see the progression of his illness in the increasing chaos of this calendar. many days were spent at the library obsessed with the cult classic catcher in the rye and its main character holden caufield. i really identified with him.
mark david chapman waited outside. chapman had the double fantasy album with him and asked lennon to sign it. i said, mark, how did that feel? he said, i was just so excited to see him. he was just a fan. but also a killer. lennon jumped into a limo. lori kay stayed behind. and mark chapman caught her off-guard. he immediately said who are you? did you talk to him? what did you talk about? did you get an autograph? it was beyond fandom. it was creepy. did you think he could be dangerous in any way? did that cross your mind? not at all. but she wishes it had. what if i had said go home, stop bugging me, leave john alone.
outside john lennon s apartment building. the car pulled up and then yoko got out. and something in the back of my mind was going do it, do it, do it, do it, over and over, over and over. lennon got out, do it. i stepped off the curb, walked, turned, i take the gun and just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. five shots from mark david chapman s .38 caliber revolver. the doorman rushed lennon s killer. he shook the gun out of my hand and pushed me across the pavement. i really shot the man. it took me out of my shock.
house husband and i m proud of it. and it was an enlightening experience for me. after five years as a self-described house husband, shawn started school and john started self-reflection. he took up sailing and after weeks of intention lessons found himself on a trip to bermuda in the middle of a fierce squall. at some point during a storm, he took the helm and it was almost light threatening. jack douglas, a record producer and close friend, said it was an awakening that turned a near-death experience into the rebirth of lennon s music. you become more appreciative of the little things that you do have. and i think that was reflected in the music in that he said, okay, it s time, i m doing this. because tomorrow might not be here.
this is the voice of a murderer, the voice of the man who killed john lennon. if you d had told me a year previous you were going to murder someone, anyone, i would say, my goodness, there s no way. i honestly never met someone as out of touch with reality as he was. was he crazier than you thought? he was a lot crazier than i thought, yeah. journalist jim gaines spent hundreds of hours with mark david chapman at attica prison