And then, like clockwork, even though i dont know how clocks work, the same terrifying sky fire. Is there no way to distract myself from this endless loop of sky fire and sweat pants . I got it oh, yeah, theyre definitely not allowed to be up on that bed. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, curve your enthusiasm. Plus stephen welcomes ibram x. Kendi and Patton Oswalt, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a colbert stephen are you going to be glad when we dont do this anymore or are you going to miss it . Ill miss it did. Stephen im going to miss it, too. Its been lovely. Welcome to a late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Hey, remember when the coronavirus was magically going to disappear in april . Well, its june 25, and yesterday new coronavirus cases in the u. S. Soared to their highest singleday total. No no we cant go backwards. Its been such a long journey. This is like if frodo went all the way to mount doom, was about to throw the ring in
Believe me. So get the king dons bible today before supplies are hurled at protesters. And, remember, if someone slaps you on theheek, i got two words for you tear. Gas. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight coup and what army . plus, stephen welcomes keeganmichael key and wes moore. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen look at the hair. The hair is getting out of control. You ready to do this . One, two. Phew welcome to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Its yet another historic day in america. And, as usual with donald trump, it aint the good kind of history. Ken burns, ive got your next project the civil war 2 half the civil, all the war. For a week, americas streets have been filled with protesters enraged over the murder of george floyd by police, while trump said practically nothing. But last night, at 6 45, he finally appeared in the rose garden to calm a troubled nation by threatening martial law. I am mobilizing all availab
The news which is why im not going to give you those stories those tired stories im to give you the hidden stories and heres one of them this pandemic has been made worse and continues to be made worse by toxic nationalism which is hilarious considering the virus doesnt get by your borders it doesnt care if you put above or you speak a different language or youre an immigrant or you got circumcised in a ceremony where the shah minute chanting and buckets of mangoes and there were bagpipes playing virus doesnt give a 3rd are talking about how one country is better or worse or whatever right now during this pandemic its like youve all heard of angry rhinos was stampeding towards you and youre talking about how you have nicer shoes on than the guy next to you ride knows dont care or rhino is going to kill for you all when the court with the when the coronavirus was 1st being talked about or government and our media used it as a chance for anti china propaganda the New York Times put it th
Court with the with the coronavirus was 1st being talked about or government and our media used it as a chance for anti china propaganda the New York Times put it this way to tame coronavirus malice style social control blankets china oh social control you mean like everyone stay 6 feet away from each other no one go to a restaurant travel restrictions you mean the stuff were now doing in america. But when in doubt racism is always the best bet in a pandemic in fact our buffoon of a president continues to call it the chinese virus because his is a very simple minded man and he can only think in bad and good so he thinks china bad so when hes told that a virus doesnt care about your nationality the 2 hamsters running around the wheels in his cranium they look at each other kind of confused and then they go back to licking their. Trunk cannot comprehend that china has actually been able to slow down this virus and their actions actually helped buy us time by us extra time that doesnt eve
That. Im. Welcome to redacted tonight so this is a comedy show were americans in america covering American News called foreign agents i dont have to tell you that things are bad were in the middle of a Global Pandemic the economy is collapsing and perhaps scariest of all the w w e is performing their advance without an audience its going to be a slaughter. Just to know what. Let me. It seems oddly romantic now doesnt spend it feels like theyre about to make out at any moment and i think we could all use some of that right now so you all probably know every last detail about coronavirus right its all over the news which is why im not going to give you those stories those tired stories im to give you the hidden stories and heres one of them this pandemic has been made worse and continues to be made worse by toxic nationalism which is hilarious considering the virus doesnt care about your border it doesnt care if you put of our fans or you speak a different language or youre an immigrant