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Kermitted Asset Management: Not that uncomfortable truth
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Kermitted Asset Management: Home truth
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Kermitted Asset Management: Wash this space
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Kermitted Asset Management: A burden, for now
The chairman of the insignificantly-sized investment company Kermitted Asset Management discusses his recent case of invisible vowel syndrome
“So what happened – did you get mugged by Old Macdonald and his farm animals?” I asked the chairman of the insignificantly-sized investment company … well, I believe it is now pronounced ‘Kermitted’ Asset Management, as we huddled under an umbrella for our first restaurant lunch in more than a year. “What on earth are you on about?” he frowned. “You know,” I laughed. “The missing ‘e’, ‘i’, ‘e’ …”
“I … oh,” the chairman winced. “Most amusing. So it’s just straight into the onslaught of thoughtless abuse we’ve suffered all week on ‘KRMTD’, is it?” “Oh, I’d like to think my abuse will be thoughtful,” I replied. “But that aside … yup, pretty much. First things first, though – can we take it as read you believe the new brand to be mod
Kermitted Asset Management: Failing the DNA test
The chairman of the insignificantly-sized investment company Kermitted Asset Management explains why his action plan for the business will win more Attenborough Points than simply hugging a husky
“Why did you just snort that suspiciously watery-looking coffee down your shirt?” asked the chairman of the insignificantly-sized investment company Kermitted Asset Management as we sat on a park bench sipping from separate flasks. “All I did was express my pride at the way ESG is so embedded in our organisation’s DNA.” “Please stop,” I snorted again. “I’m running out of ‘coffee’.”
“I must say, I’m a little surprised at you,” said the chairman haughtily. “ESG is no laughing matter.” “No, it isn’t,” I agreed. “But the way asset managers talk about it can be. And one of the funniest lines of the lot is this ESG-DNA cliché that has become so fashionable.” “Nonsense,” huffed the chairman. “Talk