he s not gonna get some. we could always split it 50/50/50. do you even hear what you re saying? your gums are bleeding. hey, how d it go? great, i just ratted you out. could i see you two boys for a minute, please? so you re not gonna get into any trouble at all? uh, no, not really. and since the mcpoyles are gonna plead guilty, i m sort of off the hook completely. that s great. oh, i m sorry, was he saying that the intervention worked? no, i don t think that s what he s saying. what are you talking about? it was the final push charlie needed. turns out three-quarters of a major not so bad after all. oh, and the best part of it, actually, for me now, is the fact that everybody thinks that i ve been molested. so, in a way, my life is ruined. in the meantime, i m going to go in the back office and cry and cry and cry and drink for a while. (door shuts) emotional release. another giant step forward. my god, we re good. - doctor. - doctor. yeah, yeah, so, i just wanted to apolog
but we begin tonight with last night s momentous news. it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same-sex couples should be able to get married (cheers and applause) jon: finally, from its president of the united states. of course the president still believes it is an issue best left to the states. but they re not complaining tonight. it s a great day when the president of the united states says on national it was gay people should no longer be relegated to only planning other people s weddings. it s not right! it s like putting a cat in charge of the goldfish toss game. it s not fair! you re just torturing the cat. let him eat the fish or move him down to the clown. that s a better game for the cat. what are we talking about? i forgot already. gay marriage. many were suggesting that the president s hand was forced by his vice president old flubs mcgill cutie of the delaware blabbermouth by addressing the issue with his remarks on meet the press last s
uh, timmy? yes, timmy. oh, dear. jimmy? yes? you know our policy. i m afraid you re out of scouts. out of scouts? timmy. what? hey, wait a minute, this is crazy. you can t do this. wow, i never knew jimmy was gay. me neither. no, no! timmy! captions by vitac www.vitac.com captions paid for by mtv networks 2012, may 10th, 2012, from comedy central s world studios in new york this is the daily show with jon ste warts. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you today. robert caro will be joining us, author of the passage of power it s the fourth volume in his remarkable biography of lbj, lbj, of course, spanish for the bj. (laughter) but we begin tonight with last night s momentous news. it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same-sex couples should be able to get married (cheers and applause) jon: finally
jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you today. robert caro will be joining us, author of the passage of power it s the fourth volume in his remarkable biography of lbj, lbj, of course, spanish for the bj. (laughter) but we begin tonight with last night s momentous news. it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same-sex couples should be able to get married (cheers and applause) jon: finally, from its president of the united states. of course the president still believes it is an issue best left to the states. but they re not complaining tonight. it s a great day when the president of the united states says on national it was gay people should no longer be relegated to only planning other people s weddings. it s not right! it s like putting a cat in charge of the goldfish toss game. it s not fair! you re just torturing the cat. let him eat the fish or move him down to the clown. that s a better game for the cat.
captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you today. robert caro will be joining us, author of the passage of power it s the fourth volume in his remarkable biography of lbj, lbj, of course, spanish for the bj. (laughter) but we begin tonight with last night s momentous news. it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same-sex couples should be able to get married (cheers and applause) jon: finally, from its president of the united states. of course the president still believes it is an issue best left to the states. but they re not complaining tonight. it s a great day when the president of the united states says on national it was gay people should no longer be relegated to only planning other people s weddings. it s not right! it s like putting a cat in charge of the goldfish toss game. it s not fair! you re just torturing the cat.