think same-sex couples should be able to get married (cheers and applause) jon: finally, from its president of the united states. of course the president still believes it is an issue best left to the states. but they re not complaining tonight. it s a great day when the president of the united states says on national it was gay people should no longer be relegated to only planning other people s weddings. it s not right! it s like putting a cat in charge of the goldfish toss game. it s not fair! you re just torturing the cat. let him eat the fish or move him down to the clown. that s a better game for the cat. what are we talking about? i forgot already. gay marriage. many were suggesting that the president s hand was forced by his vice president old flubs mcgill cutie of the delaware blabbermouth by addressing the issue with his remarks on meet the press last sunday. so you are not up set with february. would i have preferred to have done this in my own way. jon:
he s not gonna get some. we could always split it 50/50/50. do you even hear what you re saying? your gums are bleeding. hey, how d it go? great, i just ratted you out. could i see you two boys for a minute, please? so you re not gonna get into any trouble at all? uh, no, not really. and since the mcpoyles are gonna plead guilty, i m sort of off the hook completely. that s great. oh, i m sorry, was he saying that the intervention worked? no, i don t think that s what he s saying. what are you talking about? it was the final push charlie needed. turns out three-quarters of a major not so bad after all. oh, and the best part of it, actually, for me now, is the fact that everybody thinks that i ve been molested. so, in a way, my life is ruined. in the meantime, i m going to go in the back office and cry and cry and cry and drink for a while. (door shuts) emotional release. another giant step forward. my god, we re good. - doctor. - doctor. yeah, yeah, so, i just wanted to apolog
but we begin tonight with last night s momentous news. it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same-sex couples should be able to get married (cheers and applause) jon: finally, from its president of the united states. of course the president still believes it is an issue best left to the states. but they re not complaining tonight. it s a great day when the president of the united states says on national it was gay people should no longer be relegated to only planning other people s weddings. it s not right! it s like putting a cat in charge of the goldfish toss game. it s not fair! you re just torturing the cat. let him eat the fish or move him down to the clown. that s a better game for the cat. what are we talking about? i forgot already. gay marriage. many were suggesting that the president s hand was forced by his vice president old flubs mcgill cutie of the delaware blabbermouth by addressing the issue with his remarks on meet the press last s
uh, timmy? yes, timmy. oh, dear. jimmy? yes? you know our policy. i m afraid you re out of scouts. out of scouts? timmy. what? hey, wait a minute, this is crazy. you can t do this. wow, i never knew jimmy was gay. me neither. no, no! timmy! captions by vitac www.vitac.com captions paid for by mtv networks 2012, may 10th, 2012, from comedy central s world studios in new york this is the daily show with jon ste warts. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you today. robert caro will be joining us, author of the passage of power it s the fourth volume in his remarkable biography of lbj, lbj, of course, spanish for the bj. (laughter) but we begin tonight with last night s momentous news. it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same-sex couples should be able to get married (cheers and applause) jon: finally
jon: hey, everybody, that is our show, before we go, real quick, the head writer of our program, the great tim carvel, for mad magazine for ten years, now a book called in the book stores now, you should get it, unless you are a loser. are you? here it is, your moment of zen. will marginalize himself with the rest of the country. he is to the going to appease the gay community which is one of the four major funders of the democratic party a long with jews stephen: tonight, new invasions in crime fight og. is it time to give our tasers their own guns? then political chaos in wisconsin. it s time to rage against the milking machine. and my guest dr. francis cullins is in a new four-part hbi documentary on piecity. it was supposed to be one part but they supersized it. nearly 40% of new york s 911 calls are butt dialed. which begs the question, who is a facting attacking fork s butts. this is the cole bert report captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playi