Design by Ingrid Frahm
I’ve always felt that dating, sleeping with, and loving whomever I please is an active choice, as I am choosing to put what I want first. That said, I can almost remember the moment I acknowledged that I wasn’t heterosexual. It wasn t a huge, defining moment or a sudden exposure to a side of life that I hadn’t experienced before, but rather a slow realization that the girl crushes I was having on celebrity women extended further than just sharing their pictures on Tumblr a few times.
I won’t lie and proclaim that I was immediately comfortable venturing into dating both men and women, but my nerves were quickly dispelled after learning from the people I had around me. In my late teens and earlier 20s, I hung around a lot of queer people as a result of my weekend job at Urban Outfitters in Central London. The racial politics of queer representation meant that, at that time, I was more likely to find gay cis white men to party with than queer Black peo
Design by Ingrid Frahm
Carnival, Crop Over and the West Indian Day Parades of the Caribbean Diaspora have always been sites of release and exuberance. This year, with so many celebrations cancelled or delayed and so many unable to travel and join in, Caribbean and Caribbean American writers reflect on the many meanings and experiences of Carnival.
My first February in America was endured. It seemed unnecessarily spiteful that the coldest month in New York coincided with Carnival season back in Trinidad. My gut-wrenching homesickness mocked by deceptively bright freezing days, banks of hardened black snow, and foreign leafless trees. How could this same planet also house a warm emerald island in the Caribbean Sea that was in the lead-up to the most frenzied party in the world? I was miserable.
After a Bad Break Up, Tarot Dispelled My Anxiety
What happens when you experience a disquiet even the cards can t predict? DESIGN BY INGRID FRAHMGetty Images
My initial dalliance with tarot happened when my first proper relationship was nearing its end. The reading was done via a three-card spread.
Three of Swords.
The card of heartbreak flipped first. Fitting really. My (then) boyfriend of three or so years abruptly called it quits, and I needed
wanted answers he couldn’t seem to give. Being a child of the millennial era and the daughter of a God-fearing immigrant, I, of course, believed, more so then, that all things had meaning. And should I want earnestly and deeply enough, the desires of my heart would be granted. After all, my boyfriend and I had just indulged in a pricey, romantic birthday dinner. This had to be a blip in an otherwise beautiful love song. Nothing some cosmic intervention couldn’t fix. The next message would be better.
Design by Ingrid Frahm
Carnival, Crop Over and the West Indian Day Parades of the Caribbean Diaspora have always been sites of release and exuberance. This year, with so many celebrations cancelled or delayed and so many unable to travel and join in, Caribbean and Caribbean American writers reflect on the many meanings and experiences of Carnival.
I almost forgot that I turn 40 in December. But then, my friends started posting on the Internet about their own big birthdays, and pretty soon, I realized that I wouldn’t get out of this year alive without making a plan to celebrate, or at least without commencing a midlife crisis, or both. The midlife crisis is still up for debate, but it seems pretty clear now that my plans to celebrate my 40th at 2021 Crop Over in Barbados are a wrap. Beyond my own personal disappointment, there is also a collective lament something fundamental has been lost in the erasures of these opportunities to express our cultural heritage, and, more generall
Design by Ingrid Frahm
A couple years ago, I met this incredibly hot guy at a speakeasy in Highland Park at a friend’s birthday party. The theme was Glitter and Gold, with instructions on the invitation to dress accordingly. Many of the women present wore sequined dresses or shiny metallic fabrics. Hot Guy did not participate, as I recall, or perhaps, I was just staring too hard at his face to notice the clothes he had on. He came over to the wraparound bar to say hello to the friend I was with. We were briefly introduced, and as soon as he left her side, I pumped her for info. “Who