Sand flea, which can leap to the top of a twostory building in the rare event you somehow escape wild cat. Big dog, made to assist humans in the vital task of hurling cinder blocks. Pet man which no doubt one day will make a pet out of man. And, of course, cheetah, a bladelegged cyber beast with a top speed of over 28 Miles Per Hour which is faster than usain bolt. So there goes my plan to flee these robots on boltback. laughter so, folks, tonight folks, tonight i am proud to say im announcing the formation of a Rebel Alliance to defend humanity. After all, these things are just like imperial walkers. We already know how to defeat those. laughter thats why i have started an ewok breeding program. audience reacts uhhuh, uhhuh. laughter yes. My first goal s to get this ewok to stop pooping in my house. Yes, youre going to learn to catch cinder blocks. Throw me a cinder block throw me a cinder block but, of course, some technology is our friend. Like the kind used by the n. S. A. Which ha
Get back home and start packing your things avingt we are leaving this whole intolerant country aww okay, who got rid of the muslims, huh . That was all me. Ple than a simple thank you will suffice. Captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. [cheers and applause] my name is jon stewart. Our guest tonight were very excited saudi filmmaker Haifaa Al Mansour will be on the show. Shes done this film wajada. Tremendous. Off the top you may recall if youve seen our program last week we had a little spirited fun with meghan kelly. Were meg yin kelly. Her response to santa being a color other than white. Kids at home santa is white. Were just debating this because someone wrote about it. Jon see. [ laughter ] like most debates it started by giving you the definitive answer first. Now, unfortunately for miss ke
Great president , prime ministers, dictators, kings, queens, idont know, somehow i dont to see it for myself. Labours next leader will be revealed just before 11 oclock this morning. Well look at the challenges that Jeremy Corbyns successor will face. After days of pressure, premier league clubs will ask their players to take a wage cut of 30 to help ease the financial burden caused by the coronavirus, while Club Captains look to set up a fund, to support the nhs. Climbing 29,000 feet, over four days, using just one set of stairs. Well hear from the man whos spent his coronavirus lockdown conquering everest in his own home. Good morning. There is a little bit of Early Morning mist and fog out there at the moment, but that will readily lift to a dry day. A little more in the way of cloud and a few isolated showers for scotland and Northern Ireland. They will have all the details coming up shortly. Good morning. Its saturday the fourth of april. Our top story. Use your common sense and a
Chews the scenery, provided in eye catching fashion by ireland doubling as cornwall. Well. That is extraordinary. You. You, dont move. Brilliant. Oh, and one of the rest of you, well better be getting back to the old mansion, do let me know if you need. Anything. Yes, that would go there, anything, anything. Having apparently never been out of print since its first publication, the original novel has spawned several screen adaptations, including the much loved 905 bbc tv series and a somewhat underrated 2004 film adaptation, shot in the isle of man and featuring eddie izzard is the voice of it. This film of Jacqueline Wilsons update doesnt have the charm of those productions. What it does have is a hint of the real world issues that wilsons books have always tackled, a great score and a likeably wrinkly sand fairy, to which kane lends deadpan vocal appeal. You also get to hear Russell Brand use the phrase ethnically insensitive erotic, and see him run around with his bottom on fire, wh
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