desk. a couple of students came running in and said that a student was passed out on the floor in the commons and he was purple. i remember saying, oh, my god, it is ben. i mean, i knew he was not breathing. and then i just started doing cpr. and just thinking, please, god, let him wake up. it sounds like the white light is back. what happened in that room? what did he tell you? it was like that pitch white light. he said, and then all of a sudden i realized ken cuddy was with me. the rapper? yeah.
would go downstairs or go to his bedroom and he may have passed away in the middle of the night. one time we were driving in the car, and ben, with a different tone in his voice, said, mom, how do we know if we get to go to heaven. and how old was he? he was four. i told him you just let jesus know you want to be there. he asked jesus if he would be his friend for the rest of his life. was he emotional when he had this conversation? he was. he actually had tears in his eyes. [ sirens blaring ] i remember the paramedics gathering around ben and measuring all types of vitals and that sort of thing. the ambulance arrived and they put him into the back of the ambulance with my mom. there was a moment there where you just let go. there was a point in there where i realized that the answer to my prayer maybe was going to be, i m going to take him home,
to heaven. finally they were wheeling him from the e.r. to a regular room. and i was walking alongside the gurney holding ben s hand. and this warm little hand, which i was loving at the moment, ben was looking straight up and he said, mom, do you see that light? no, i don t see anything. but he said, it s there, can you see it? and he told me it made him feel really good, and he thought it was an angel. nine years later or so, when he was 13, you took him to the cardiologist. he explained what was
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he wasn t with us anymore. and i believed immediately that he was in heaven. what made you believe that? my faith was strengthened in those moments. i didn t doubt it at all. the video went viral. it did. it had been going around for hours even though ben had just passed away a few hours before. why do you think he made that video? it was ben s way of saying good-bye. i think it was a gift to the world. i think he wanted others to have hope, that there is life after life and that there is peace in the midst of suffering.