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Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170427

Jimmy hi, hi. Very nice. Hi, everyone. Im the host, im jimmy. Thanks for watching. Thanks for coming. Im very glad you are here. Im glad you are here. Glad you are enthusiastic. We have a starlordstudded show tonight. Cast of guardian of the galaxy volume 2 and a clip from the movie which they will share with us for free. [ cheers and applause ] tonights show, weird if they made you pay for just a piece of the movie for the clip. But they will not. Tonights show will be just like a marvel movie, jokes, action, at the end you will sit there thinking theres more, right, theres got to be Something Else . I saw the movie, we got an advanced screening, our staff did. Its great, i like it even better than the first one. Everyone loved it. If you are going to see one movie in which Bradley Cooper plays a raccoon this year, this would be it. This would be it. [ cheers and applause ] all of that to look forward to. For those of you celebrating this weekend, hope you had a happy easter. We had a

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170429

Through a chimney for cookies. [ laughter ] all the signs are there. Marijuana is legal here in california. By state law. But its still technically illegal, according to federal law. So the lapd, the police, cant arrest you for having pot but an fbi agent can arrest you. Its confusing, right . Now imagine trying to understand that while youre high. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] even our local News Reporters were celebrating today. This is from our local fox affiliate here in l. A. They put a reporter out on the street in front of a Marijuana Dispensary to wax somewhat poetically about this special day. Happy 4 20. Theres a lot to celebrate. Weve come a really long way. Do you remember back in the day, kids today, they know pot smoking through Legal Cannabis shops all over town. But back in the day when we were kids, there wasnt anything like that. That was a dark time. You had to rely on your neighborhood deal, who if he did show up wouldnt leave. Jimmy what the hell is going on

Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170428

This particular asteroid has been to our planet in 400 years. Thats the one that almost got us. That son of a bitch. Look at it, its enormous. 2,000 feet. Just to give you an idea, thats about seven football fields. Its the only way i know how to measure anything is how many football fields. Show of hands, who would be okay with an asteroid hitting us right now . At this point it would be no . At the white house today President Trump hosted the super bowl champion new england patriots. You know they were lucky to catch the president. Its wednesday. Usually hes on his way to the maralago for the weekend. [ laughter ] they did show up. Not only did the players meet with the president , one of them made a surprise appearance at sean spicers daily press briefing. He said that on nafta he wants very big changes. Are we going to get rid of it once and for all . Are we at that point . Like very big changes i think well see what pans out in the negotiation. Think theres an option can i i think

Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170429

[ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Very nice. Hi, everyone. Im jimmy, im the host. Thanks for watching. Thank you for coming. Well, thats very kind. And today, in case you either dont know or are too high to remember is 4 20. I dont know if this is a thing in the whole country but its a big deal around these parts. The whole state smells like it ran over a skunk the size of godzilla. People really get into the spirit here. Heres the thing. The truth is if youre celebrating 4 20 today chances are you were celebrating it yesterday. And the day before that too. [ laughter ] between easter and 4 20, this has been a huge week for eating candy and rolling stuff. [ laughter ] i was thinking about that. Thinking about it, you know who i think might be a stoner . Santa claus. Hes always laughing. Hes got that beard. Flies around on a sleigh pulled by reindeer, something only a very high person would think of. He sneaks into peoples houses through a chimney for cookies. [ laughter ] all th

Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170428

Been to our planet in 400 years. Thats the one that almost got us. That son of a bitch. Look at it, its enormous. 2,000 feet. Just to give you an idea, thats about seven football fields. Its the only way i know how to measure anything is how many football fields. Show of hands, who would be okay with an asteroid hitting us right now . President trump hosted the super bowl champion new england patriots. You know they were lucky to catch the president. Its wednesday. Usually hes on his way to the maralago for the weekend. [ laughter ] they did show up. Not only did the players meet with the president , one of them made a surprise appearance at sean spicers daily press briefing. He said that on nafta he wants very big changes. Are we going to get rid of it once and for all . Are we at that point . Like very big changes i think well see what pans out in the negotiation. Think theres an option can i just need some help . I think i got this, but thank you. All right, thanks, man. Ill see you

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