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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Trevor now, every convention is not just about officially picking the nominee. Its also about telling a story about what the party represents. From the getgo last night, it was clear the democrats were trying to portray themselves as the party of diversity, unity and also patriotism. The show kicked off with people of every race, ethnicity and gender reciting the constitution, then the pledge of allegiance, then singing the national anthem, after which they were ominously trapped inside an american flag. Im assuming the only way to set them free is by electing joe biden president. Its clear why the democrats have to lay the patriotism on so thick because between protesting Police Brutality and kneeling during the anthem, the republicans are tried to make it seem democrats dont love america just because they criticize it. I get why democrats are trying to fight that perception, but if i want t to be honest, you will never beat trump when it comes to symbolic patriotism. Youre seeing an

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Day one of the Democratic National convention and if you didnt have time to watch, well bring you the highlights, as promised. So lets do this, people. Welcome to the daily distancing show implete from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, the daily distancing show presents the Democratic National convention, elected americas first black president s friend. Trevor now, every convention is not just about officially picking the nominee. Its also about telling a story about what the party represents. From the getgo last night, it was clear the democrats were trying to portray themselves as the party of diversity, unity and also patriotism. The show kicked off with people of every race, ethnicity and gender reciting the constitution, then the pledge of allegiance, then singing the national anthem, after which they were ominously trapped inside an american flag. Im assuming the only way to set them free is by electing joe biden president. Its clear why the dem

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show presents, the Democratic National convention. Electing americas first black president s friend. Trevor the final night of the Democratic National convention gave air time to rising democratic politicians who hadnt made appearances yet, from pete buttigieg, to tammy duckworth, to keisha lance bottoms. Everyone got a chance to speak. They also made space for michael bloomberg, democratic sugar daddy and bruce wayne who never became batman. Bloomberg used his speech to continue his yearslong beef with donald trump, and then apparently, started a new beef with a fly. And some people wondered why bloomberg didnt swat the fly away, but in his defense, bloomberg has probably never even seen a fly. He only knows about richpeople insects, like junebugs and goldplated beetles. But you see, my friends, this is what happens when you remove steve bannon from the ecosphere. He stops eating flies, and they immediately get out of c

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Who [bleeping] cares, token . I can never beat kyle now ill say it again [bleep] jesus [audience screaming] my ears are bleeding good job, dick head you lost the entire audience ah, [bleep] you, token, you black asshole ah oh eh [coughing] hmm, guess he got what he deserved. [coughing, wheezing] [bleep] you, eric the body of christ sleek, swimmers body all muscled up and toned the body of christ oh what a body, i wish i could call it my own lord almighty ive never been so enticed oh i wish i could have the body of christ the body of christ and welcome to the daily distancing show. Im trevor noah. It is thursday august 20th, and heres your quarantine tip of the day if you want to go hang out with friends outside because its safer, but now its also too hot, then heres an easy fix just stuff a frozen turkey in your shirt. Yeah, it will keep you cool and people will think youre pregnant and offer you their seat. Thats what i did. I was, like, here you go, maam. And then there was a dude wi

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

On, everybody, welcome do the daily social distancing show, im trevor noah. It is wednesday, august 129 and heree your coronavirus tip of the day, gyms are still closed. So if you are looking for exercise, just do what my upstairs neighbors do and jump rope at 5 00 in the goddam morning yeah, but seriously, apparently it is a great cardio work uttout. Anyway on tonights episode Kamala Harris secrets revealed, Jaboukie Young white tries to get the vaccine and how your iphone could give you corona. So lets do this, people, welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city, to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets begin with another important story about race in america. Now this is a story all about how one young mans life got flipped, turned upside down. And i would like to take a minute, just sit right there, i will tell you about how this man became the prirns of a town called belair. No

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