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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240711

But it was fun playing against you. You didnt win. I won. Jimmy what no, you didnt look at the score. Stop the count. Jimmy we did stop the count. And i won. Keep counting jimmy i dont need to. Look at the scoreboard were demanding a recount, folks. Can you can believe this i am being totally cheated everyone agrees. Im in the process of suing playstation right now. Jimmy President Trump . Fake news jimmy oh, come on. Just admit you lost so we can all move on. Besides, dont you have more important things to do video games . I ask you the same thing. Jimmy oh, its time for the show i go to go hey, dad, can i play . Get out of here, eric im don jr. Steve from in Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests chance the rapper, erin andrews musical guest g herbo and chance the rapper. And featuring the legendary roots crew and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy hey, thank you hello, an

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240711

Steve from 30 Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight join jimmy and his guests Kenan Thompson kate mara, musical guest, james blake and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh yeah please oh, my goodness. Wow. Okay thank you very much. Wow, thank you, thank you. Thank you very much, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show here. [ cheers and applause studio 6a in new york city thank you, roots lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, as of this afternoon, some states are still counting their votes, but the numbers are looking good for joe biden. Yep, it seems like america [ cheers and applause seems like america is just about ready to socially distance from president trump. [ cheers and applause yep, as more votes came in today, the coronavirus put on its hat and coat and thought, well, its been a good run. [ laughter ] good day to you all. Thats

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240711

Call your aunt ronda because of the restraining order . Deep state. And just like your actual crazy uncle, he doesnt know when to leave. Its pronounced kamala. Casa blanca . No, its kama, then la. Kookaburra . Yahtzee. This is settlers of catan. belches blowup crazy uncle. Because a family that inflates together celebrates together. You know any female sex dolls you can set me up with . Hell, give me a beach ball. Im not picky. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonights transition to greatness. Plus stephen welcomes glenn close and musical guest kane brown with sway lee and khalid, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome welcome heres mud in your eye to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Im very excited. Im also a little tired because i got up way early this morning and interviewed barack obama today. The only thing keeping me drivi

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240712

From rockefeller center, in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show, starring gem gemmy fallen and now, here is he, jimmy fallon do it jimmy oh, hey oh, my goodness. Hello, everyone, welcome thank you so much hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show here from studio 6a having a little trouble . Got caught. Jimmy i was about to play drums. Lets get to the news and jokes, well, guys, with election day less than a week away, the White House Office put out a list of president trumps achievements they list ending the pandemic as a top accomplishment of the president s first term jimmy what thats like the Tampa Bay Rays listing their biggest accomplishment as 2020 world series champion. Seriously, right now, ending the pandemic thanks to you, we just got picked up for three more seasons. Keep in mind, though, the White House Science Office is just eric and don jr. Wearing a bill nye halloween costume. When i picture the White House Science Office i think of mon

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Nobody should be thrown out or made miserable because of it. And while that might seem obvious to most of us, its a very big deal, because it is not the official position of the Catholic Church. And hes the pope of the church. The pope has gone rogue all of a sudden. [ laughter ] [ applause ] hes talking like jesus, its crazy. While it is newsworthy, hearing him say this, francis as you know is not the first pope to endorse samesex unions. The first pope to do it was pope rihanna back in 2018 at the met gala. [ laughter ] its crazy, we live in a time when the head of the Catholic Church is more progressive on samesex marriage than the Vice President of the united states. But we do. Im sure the pope is wearing a pointy birthday hat to celebrate Kim Kardashians birthday. She turned 40 years old today. This is going to be quite a couple of weeks for kim. Today she turned 40. And when kanye wins on november 3rd, she becomes first lady. [ laughter ] so we got another shocking glimpse into t

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