Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Nobody should be thrown out or made miserable because of it. And while that might seem obvious to most of us, its a very big deal, because it is not the official position of the Catholic Church. And hes the pope of the church. The pope has gone rogue all of a sudden. [ laughter ] [ applause ] hes talking like jesus, its crazy. While it is newsworthy, hearing him say this, francis as you know is not the first pope to endorse samesex unions. The first pope to do it was pope rihanna back in 2018 at the met gala. [ laughter ] its crazy, we live in a time when the head of the Catholic Church is more progressive on samesex marriage than the Vice President of the united states. But we do. Im sure the pope is wearing a pointy birthday hat to celebrate Kim Kardashians birthday. She turned 40 years old today. This is going to be quite a couple of weeks for kim. Today she turned 40. And when kanye wins on november 3rd, she becomes first lady. [ laughter ] so we got another shocking glimpse into the current president s finances last night, thanks again to the New York Times. According to the times, donald trump has an undisclosed chinese bank account. Isnt that something. And not only does he have a bank account, which he paid between 2013 and 2015, he paid china more than 188,000 in taxes. I feel like at the end of this were going to find out that hunter biden is actually trumps son. [ laughter ] in a real darth vadery twist on this whole story. While it may not look great trump paid 250 times as much income tax to china as he did to the united states, i feel like this story is being blown out of proportion a little bit. Honestly, who doesnt have a chinese bank account. I have a chinese bank account. Guillermo . Guillermo i have two. [ laughter ] jimmy dicky, do you have a chinese bank account . Dicky of course. Jimmy yes, yeah. Who on our crew has a chinese bank account . Show of hands. Obviously. Give the guy a break, we all have them. Now that we found out hes a longtime chinese taxpayer, trump has every right to be furious about chinas response to the coronavirus. Hes practically a citizen of their country. [ laughter ] okay donald trump has a chinese bank account. He had to. Hes running out of things to be hypocritical about, it was the only thing left. [ laughter ] at this point i wouldnt be surprised to find out he tunneled under the border from mexico into the country. [ laughter ] i dont know why it took so long to uncover this. The mans been president for almost four years. Even the way he interacted with chinese president xi should have been a red flag. [ speaking in a Foreign Language ] jimmy of course he speaks mandarin, hes orange. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thank you. Yesterday alone we learned that trump has a secret bank account in china. And his administration now cannot find the parents of 545 children they intentionally separated from their mothers. This is quite a Closing Argument hes making. But trump is soaking up the love wherever he can get it. Last night he had a rally in erie, pennsylvania, where he really had trouble concealing his disdain. Before the plague i had it made. I wasnt coming to erie. I had to be honest, there was no way i was coming, i didnt have to. I would have said, hey, erie, if you have a chance, get out and vote. I had this won. We were so far up. We had the greatest economy, greatest jobs, greatest everything. Then we got hit with the plague and i had to go back to work. Hello, erie, may i please have you vote . Jimmy oh my goodness, was the president honest for a second . [ laughter ] im surprised gnats didnt fly out of his mouth. I am here in erie begrudgingly, enjoy the virus. Hes also a normal color, whats going on . It was a rough day for the president , he had a runin of some kind with lesley stahl of 60 minutes. Oh, and you have to watch what we do to 60 minutes, youll get such a kick youre going to get a kick out of it. Lesley stahl is not going to be happy. Jimmy yeah. Well, for those who havent hurt, trump reportedly got up and abruptly left his interview with lesley stahl of 60 minutes and hes threatening to release his own footage of what happened before it airs on cbs sunday. Hes mad about something, we dont know what. He tweeted, lesley stahl of 60 minutes not wearing a mask in the white house after her interview with me, much more to come. I dont know, how much more could there be to come . It was an interview. Did she murder someone on her way out of the white house . [ laughter ] this photo was taken minutes after he cut the interview short. He hasnt made this face since i think the popeyes near the white house ran out of chicken sandwiches. How bad could this interview be . In his last interview with lesley stahl, he said, im president and youre not, and im not a baby. [ laughter ] what happened . Why would he storm out of this one . This is going to be the best episode of 45 minutes ever. [ laughter ] meanwhile, eric trump is working it too. He was on the road in michigan, as you can see, mixing it up with voters, no mask, shaking hands, close contact, close talking, high fives, winks, the whole deal. He acts like theres nothing to worry about at all. There you go, right up there. Its hard to blame him, his father never hugged him, his wife is made out of pvc. [ laughter ] the man desperately craves a human touch. Maybe hell get it in the hospital. Donald trump really needs to shake things up at the debate tomorrow night. According to a New York Times sienna poll, when it comes to the issues, forget the candidates themselves. When it comes to the major issues such as coronavirus, law and order, hiring your kids to run a country, all the big things, voters strongly prefer bidens positions over trumps. You know what else biden has going for him, he has none other than barack obama, who appeared at a rally today in philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] one of those drivein rallies. Yeah. It was a big crowd, it was a diverse crowd. There were ford fiestas, kia sorentos, nissan rogues, even a volkswagen made it. Obama said to the crowd, could you imagine if i had a secret chinese bank account . I guess he doesnt. Guillermo, do you have a secret chinese bank account . Guillermo yeah, i have a chinese jimmy oh did we do this already . All right. Guillermo had a fun experience last night. Tell us about we had the pop the kpop Group Blackpink on our show last night. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo yeah jimmy they are hugely popular among the middleaged people who work on our show. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy lest you thought any of the other applause and laughter was genuine, now you know it wasnt, yes. [ laughter ] anyway, they have this i guess they have like a tiktok dance . Theres, you know, tiktoks and whatnot going on. Guillermo yes. Jimmy do you ever go on tiktok . Guillermo no, i dont have tiktok. Jimmy you dont have tiktok . Maybe you should get on tiktok. Guillermo yeah, maybe i should. I do it after the show. Jimmy does your son look at tiktok ever . Guillermo no. Jimmy hes not into that . Guillermo no, hes not into that. Jimmy get on tiktok, i think america would love that. Anyway, they have these dances that they do. And what happened . They taught you a dance . Guillermo yeah, the ice cream dance, you know. Like jimmy the ice cream dance. Guillermo yes. Jimmy this is from one of their songs . Guillermo thats right. Jimmy the ice cream dance is a particular dance that people try to do, and you wanted to learn how to do it . Guillermo yeah. It doesnt look too hard, so i try my best. Jimmy and youre a pretty good dancer, as far as dancing goes . Guillermo oh, a natural. [ laughter ] jimmy back home they call him juan travolta. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy anyway, all right. Here he is, heres the kpop phenom blackpink teaching guillermo the ice cream dance. Guillermo hi hi, girls hi guillermo im your biggest fan i love you oh my god, thats so thats so cute. Thank you guillermo im a huge blink because im very huge. I want to learn how to dance, you know, the tiktok dance. Yeah guillermo do you have any advice for me . Yeah. Be yourself. Yeah. Youre fabulous. You already look perfect, so look cute. Just do your thing. And do this every Time Ice Cream comes out. Ice cream guillermo like that . Lick your yes, there you go. Oh excellent fantastic. Like a little wave. Guillermo okay, girls. Now were going to dance. You tell me how i do, okay . Okay guillermo all right are. Hit it looks so good looks so sweet looking good enough to eat close with a kiss so they call me ice cream catch me in the fridge the ice cream oh, i mean good. You could be way more sexier than that. Yeah. You could do much more better. Guillermo more sexy . Yes yeah guillermo im going to do it again, more sexy. Look so good look so sweet whoa oh okay close with the kiss so they call me ice cream it was a little better, but come on, you got to step it up. Yes. Guillermo okay, all right. I want to do it again. Looks so good yeah looks so sweet looking good enough to eat close with the kiss so they call me ice cream catch me in the fridge ice cream looks so good yeah looks so sweet baby you deserve a treat diamonds on my wrist so they call me ice cream you can double dip if you really like me ice cream chilling chilling ice cream ice cream chilling chilling ice cream chilling oh my god, wow wow ice cream ice cream ice cream guillermo i feel like Freddie Mercury wow we like that. We like that one. Wow. Couldnt resist you. Perfect. Jimmy yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dont ever do that again. Guillermo no. Jimmy all right. We have a good show for you tonight. Eric andre is here. We have music from tate mcrae. 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Plus get a free lg stylo 6 when you switch all on our new, upgraded network. Save with our new hrinkit plan. Boost mobile. fisherman vo ce h our how do i register to vote . Ential election. Hmm . Hmm . Hmm . woman on porch vo can we vote by mail here . grandma vo youll be safe, right . daughter vo yes four girls vo the polls voted grandma vo go out and vote its so important man at poll vo woo grandma vo its the most important thing you can do asof being stretched too thinar to do my job right. And its not Just Health Care workers. Our teachers and school staff are going the extra mile for our kids. Our firefighters are taking on unthinkable missions to keep us safe. How can we keep giving billions in tax breaks to rich corporations when our communities need that money . Prop 15 closes corporate loopholes and invests in our schools, health care, and public safety. Help us do our jobs. Vote yes on 15. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight, eric andre is with us. He will be here in person, in the flesh. And then later, shes a High School Student from canada. She got a great song called you broke me first. Thats it right there, music from tate mcrae tonight. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, Octavia Spencer and jay pharoah will join us after the debate. And well have music from lauv with help from conan gray. Please join us for that. Earlier tonight here on abc, you saw her first guest play a skilled medical professional dealing with the most challenging job there is, raising children while being married to anthony anderson. It is going to be great. We are doing a cheese tasting, mansour luc is going to give us each 35 cheeses to try from the brittany region. The best part is we are all going to be comparing cheesetasting notes. I cant. Sometimes i just want to come home and just have a glass of wine. And what better to pair with a glass of wine than cheese . Seriously, junior, i do video conferences all day long, then i come home and im confronted by ruby whos telling me the virus is a plot to take down social security, and i have more paperwork, and i dont have the bandwidth for 35 cheeses. Jimmy from blackish, please welcome Tracee Ellis Ross [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Covid hug jimmy welcome. Wow, you look fantastic. Well, i got out of the house, jimmy, youre my big visit. Jimmy im not used to seeing people dressed up anymore. My feet are not used to it. My feet are like, youve got to be kidding me. Jimmy the last time i saw you was at the emmys. The last time i left the house. Jimmy is it really . No, i go to work. Or i this feels like a very safe environment. Jimmy its pretty safe. I mean, we get tested. Everybody here is tested. Oh, yeah, of course. Im ready, im ready if im uncomfortable. [ laughter ] jimmy dont worry, i was tested today, i was tested yesterday, negative, negative, im a very negative person. [ laughter ] im negative too. Its one of the best times to be negative. Jimmy all of a sudden positive isnt so great anymore. Take that, drew barrymore. Oh my god. [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah, i mean jimmy its our time to shine. Can i tell you can i be honest about when you were at the emmys . Yeah. Jimmy they told me that you were really nervous about coming, about i was scared to go near you. Like, you know anthony, i think i hugged him. You did . Wait, they had said at the emmys, it was so funny. I had told them i would be Good Standing next to you for the bit. Then i got there, tell jimmy i cant stand next to him tell him hes got to be six to eight feet, maybe ten jimmy i was looking at you through binoculars, hello no germs over here its okay ive been one of those i dont know what to say. Jimmy if youre going to go one way or the other, thats the way to go. Overly cautious. I feel i was built for the pandemic, all of a sudden month five, no, im not. Jimmy yeah. A lot of people feel that way. Then you reach a point and everybody, for some people, it takes longer than others. Yeah. Going back to work was really helpful. Which has been bizarre. Jimmy how is that going . You know its a little bit like they were like, okay, so were going to do the show, but youre going to do it underwater, and youre going to have to wear scuba gear. Jimmy right. Its like, its not the same thing, but it is the same thing. Jimmy you have the whole head gear and all that stuff. Its a lot. Rehearsal is my favorite because were in masks for rehearsal. I dont know now, with anthonys beard jimmy hes got a very full beard. But the masks, i dont care which mask he wears, it like totally flattens. Then during rehearsal, it starts to creep up over his eyes. And im like, can you see . Hes like, no, i cannot. Im like, you cannot take your mask off. But its i dont know, its been really nice to be with everyone. Everything takes longer. Jimmy yeah, right. Time is a whole different thing than what we were doing before. You know, in production, like time is a thing that you literally see how much you can cram in and how long your day can be. Jimmy not only that, everything is so last minute. Yeah. Jimmy i think people will be surprised sometimes, there will be major Motion Pictures and the star of the movie gets cast the day before the movie starts shooting. And thats just the way things go. Now you cant really do that stuff. None of that. Fittings are not happening. I used to do almost two hours of fittings. Jimmy clothing fittings . Yeah. Im like, why dont we just wear sweat pants all season . Seem like a good idea . I dont know, i feel really grateful to be in a production that can go back to work and our industry is able to figure out how to do this safely. Weve been working two months now, and were all safe. It shows you it really is possible, which i think is really important. Like if you do Pay Attention and do the safety protocols, you can stay safe. Jimmy i think youre exactly right. I think that doing this show, nobodys been sick doing this show, because were all being careful. Yeah. Jimmy if you are careful, at the very least, youre going to greatly reduce the risk of and you hear these things on television, on the news, these lunatics saying, by lunatics i mean the president , saying [ laughter ] did we say that already . Jimmy somehow the jury is out on masks. It makes people uncomfortable. Yeah . You know whats more uncomfortable . Getting sick and going to the hospital. Jimmy uhhuh, and dying. Dying also. When you die, they bury you, they burn you, they do all sorts of uncomfortable things. And youre not here anymore, jimmy. Jimmy youre not here anymore, which has its you know, which its not necessarily now were going to change that. This little thing, this thing, you wear it, its not that hard. Jimmy yeah. You can hear me. My favorite is the people who pull it down to talk. No, thats not the point what are you doing . Jimmy hold on, let me exhale some germs at you. No. Jimmy people do miss the point. Anyway. Jimmy so its going well on the set. Yes. Jimmy its not so bad. No. Jimmy whos being the most careful on the set . You . Absolutely me. Jimmy whos being least careful as far as your castmates go . Im not going to do that. [ laughter ] but its definitely me. Jimmy is anyone having parties with dr. Dre or anything like that . No, no, not at all. I do have to say that i have im, you know its a jimmy you are setting the standard. Yeah, yeah. I think so. Jimmy i heard it was your idea to do the episode of the show that was half animated. Yeah. Jimmy which was really good. That was fun, right . It was really fun. And it was i thought, can we do something to ease our way in . I thought the animation was so cool. I felt i was in scoobydoo. Jimmy i think we have some of the drawings. Look at bows shoulders. Jimmy yeah. Rainbow. Well, rainbows dont have shoulders if you think about the shape of a rainbow. Its pretty rounded. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy its a good i think its a nice likeness. Yeah. Jimmy rarely do you see that. Its almost always terrible. I thought it was fantastic. We did that really quickly, for an animated episode. Jimmy right. Thats not a quick thing to do. Jimmy the artist did all the quick stuff, you just went bup bup bup. [ laughter ] the artist did the hard part. Jimmy oh my goodness, we were up drawing all night it was so hard. Jimmy how are you going to handle halloween . Whats the plan for that . I im sorry, my mother said not to use the word hate, but i hate halloween. Jimmy your mother is diana ross. Yeah. Jimmy she says dont say hate . Hates a strong, hard word. Jimmy she said stop in the name of love. [ laughter and applause ] stop in the name of love, dont say hate. Well done, jimmy. My birthday is october 29th. By about 14 years old i was donesville with halloween. Id had so many halloween parties. I dressed as a witch, a punk rocker, a box of crayola crayons, id done everything. Then i feel for three reasons, halloween sucks. Jimmy lets go through them. Number one, its peoples excuse to dress up and be kooky, weird, awful. Jimmy yes. Number two, candy. Jimmy wait. Candys bad . I cant eat sugar. Jimmy you cant . No. Jimmy oh. Why . Its like im having an anxiety attack. Jimmy oh. And its like jimmy because you love it too much . No. I cant eat stimulants, coffee, none of that. Jimmy really . None of it. Jimmy wow. I have more reasons why i hate halloween. Jimmy theres got to be a third. Ill tell you why i hate halloween. We can go through it. First of all, im an adult, i dont need to dress up. I know what it was. Jimmy they say, kids people get crazy, they get weird. They get weird. Jimmy suddenly people are exposing themselves to you and youre like, we work together, this is uncomfortable now. Theyre like, you cant see me because i have on a mask. No, i know its you. Jimmy people jumping out at me. Thats where i really dont like i dont like to be startled in that way. Who does . Jimmy i guess there must be people who do. No. Jimmy you might be right, maybe nobody. Nobody likes to be scared, frightened, like boo why . Thats how i came out. Jimmy what do you mean . I just remembered that. My dad said boo to my mom and her water broke. Jimmy what . [ laughter ] i swear to god, im pretty sure thats the story. Jimmy what . Well, this explains everything. Everything. No, but i remember my third reason. Jimmy i didnt know you were a boo baby. Im a boo baby [ applause ] i just remembered the third reason, because i dress up all the time. If you want to dress up in a costume, rent a costume. I do it every day. I dont need to dress up you dont need to give me an occasion. Jimmy your dad scared the water out of your mom, thats crazy. And there i came. Jimmy that is pretty nutty. Im with you. Do you watch scary movies . No, sir. Jimmy i dont either but a lot of people love it, they really enjoy it. No, i think the last scary movie i watched was the blair witch project. And i will never ruined. Jimmy that was it. That long ago . Ruined. And i think i saw, was it poltergeist where the head went round . Jimmy no, that was the exorcist. Okay, saw a clip of that, no, thank you, sir. Jimmy you were probably 5. Nope. Thats probably right. I mean, i thought the wiz was a horror movie. Jimmy the wiz. Youre confusing it with the thriller video. No, the monkeys came out of the wall, thats terrifying are you kidding me . There was a big witch lady sitting on a toilet jimmy its funny, for me, maybe the scariest character in all of movies is the wicked witch of the west from the wizard of oz. I used to have a recurring nightmare about her. [ laughter ] jimmy when i would see her on those coffee commercials in the 70s, it scared me, made me scared of coffee, and she wasnt even in character. And that one mole. Do you remember . In the what was the movie called . Jimmy the wizard of oz. Im having flashbacks, im so sorry. I had this recurring nightmare she was chasing me and i was running, and the carpet was moving underneath me, and she catches me and i grab her chin, and my finger is hooked onto her mole. And is this too much information . [ laughter ] jimmy no, its not too much. Some dream therapist is going to write me and be like, this is whats wrong. [ laughter ] her chin was stretching. Jimmy oh i woke up terrified. Yeah. Jimmy i had the same dreams about jay leno. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] im over it now. You can tell this is i mean, we should have had cocktails. This is like the best outing ever. Jimmy lets get a round of drinks. Tracee ellis ross, everybody. Blackish wednesday nights, 9 30, here on abc. Thank you, tracee. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] when i was in high school, this was the theater i came to quite often. The support weve had over the last few months has been amazing. Its not just a work environment. Everyone here is family. If you are ready to open your heart and your home, check us out. We thought for sure that we were done. And this town said not today. Another bundle in the books. Got to hand it to you, jamie. Your knowledge of victorian architecture really paid off this time. Nah, just got lucky. So did the thompsons. That faulty wiring couldve cost them a lot more than the mudroom. Thankfully they bundled their motorcycle with their home and auto. Theyre protected 24 7. Mm. What do you say . One more game of backgammon . [ chuckles ] not on your life. [ laughs ] when the lights go down [ laughs ] cross eerbody off hey your gift list. Emas. The whole squad lookin fly in the halfzips. Its the coziest fleecemas that ever existed shop cozy styles for everyone on your list. We holiday. Only at old navy and oldnavy. Com still a father. But now a friend. Still an electric car. Just more electrifying. Still a night out. But everything fits in. Still hard work. Just a little easier. Still a legend. Just more legendary. Chevrolet. Making lifes journey, just better. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Music from tate mcrae is on the way. Our next guest might be the weirdest talk show host there is after four interminable years, the Eric Andre Show returns for season 5 on adult swim. Please welcome eric andre [ cheers and applause ] hey. Jimmy whats happening here . Yes how are you . Namaste. Jimmy you didnt have to bring a gift. I have to be safe. I have to keep my distance. Jimmy well, this is interesting. You are known as the most diseased man in hollywood. Jimmy thats right, i am. Covid negative . Covid positive . Jimbo kimball, everybody. Jimmy eric, i dont know if this makes us safer or less safe. I think this makes me less safe and you safer. Im on a ton of heroin, so im going to fall right over. [ laughter ] jimmy did you steal this . They legalized heroin recently, did you know that . Jimmy is that right . California, how about that. California, very progressive state. Im supposed to do something that your a. D. Told me in rehearsal, i cant remember what it is. What are you supposed to do . Just crew here watching . Cameras arent on, right . There is no film in those cameras, break them open, theyre pinatas. Thank you, i love just the crew here. Usually you get drifters and vagabonds in here. Jimmy well, theres still some of those. [ laughter ] have you ever saved anyones life . This is so weird, right . We have to commit to this for like 15 minutes now. Jimmy its a real power move is what it is. Power move. Very dominant. Im an alpha. Im going to be spread eagle the whole time. Jimmy i feel like im in a maga rally in the front row. Yes. Yes. Im making america great. Jimmy are you a lifeguard in your spare time . Whats going on here . You know, im giving it a shot, kind of a freestyle lifeguard. I gave cpr to a shark recently. A lot of teeth. A lot of tongue. Jimmy that wouldnt surprise me if you actually did that, really wouldnt. Youve got to press your lips up to its gills and you try your best. [ laughter ] jimmy well, you know this, certainly. But i wanted to mention that you were really like youre good at being straight in this jimmy i got to tell you, i feel kind of comfortable. Youre awfully comfortable. Jimmy i feel like im at the dentist. [ laughter ] the lights are up there. Your pants are off, youre on nitrous. [ laughter ] jimmy correct me if i have any of this wrong. You stopped doing the Eric Andre Show. Yes. Jimmy then trump got elected. Yes. Jimmy and now that thats almost over as a result of, you know, discontinuing the show. Jimmy thats kind of what i was getting at in a way. Now youve come back. Well, a quick fouryear hiatus to make a movie. I came on your show. We were laughing about corona. Jimmy that movies funny, where is that movie . Its on netflix now, coming out in 15 years. [ laughter ] i was on i was here promoting it. We were like, coronasharona, get a little hand sanitizer. Jimmy turned out we couldnt get any, and look what happened. Because of that hiatus, i took a larry davidlength hiatus. Because of the movie, i took four years off. Now im back. Jimmy is hannibal back as your sidekick . Not really. He quit after the second episode. Jimmy what . I asked him, like hey, were back, man, took four years off but were back. He was like, nah, i quit, i dont want to do the show anymore. What . Why . Hes like, im almost 40, im done looking at you trying to poop on your desk in front of your guests. Jimmy hes really grown up. So what did you do . Did you replace him . What do you have now . We clone him on the second episode. We made a character named blannibal. We take a lock of his nose hair, put him in a centrifuge. Jimmy very creative, youre always thinking. Blannibal quits after a few episodes. Jimmy oh, no. [ laughter ] im very difficult to work with. Whats up, dude . Guillermo whats going on . How are you doing . You look hot. Guillermo i am. Jimmy your hairs grown out. Excuse me, were in the middle of something, dont interrupt. Its called vibing, jimmy. Jimmy you guys. Lets play a clip of sorry. Jimmy youre bald on the show this year. I did a body transfer. Jimmy you didnt just wax your hair, though, of course. Yes. Jimmy take a look. Oh oh, one, two, three for you. Great, great. Uhhuh. Do you want something to hold . Yeah, like a teddy bear. Thank you. The counting is going to start. I can tell. When do you want me to start counting . Three, two, one [ applause ] i realize without any context or setup, you guys just watched snuff footage. [ laughter ] i do like a body transformation every year. So last season, i lost weight, i grew out my hair, nails, i got really pale. This season i wanted to do everything the opposite. I got rid of all my body hair, head bald, tanned, bleached my teeth, manicured my nails. Then i waxed my pubis and anus. Jimmy scale of 1 to 10, how painful was that . Excruciating pain. Unbelievable pain. Women are stronger and braver than men. They have to create life and pass it through their birth canal. Men are chickens. It was like being a victim in a north korean detention center. It was torture. Jimmy there are no victims in a north korean have you ever got waxed . Guillermo no, not yet. Tonights the night, right . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy lets heat some up. Well be back with eric andre. Im a peer educator,. A fitness buff,. And a champion for my own health. I talked with my doctor. And switched to. Fewer medicines with. Dovato. Prescription dovato is for some adults who are starting hiv1 treatment or replacing their current hiv1 regimen. With. Just 2 medicines. In 1 pill, dovato is as effective as a 3drug regimen to help you reach and stay undetectable. Research shows people who take hiv treatment as prescribed. And get to and stay undetectable. Can no longer transmit hiv through sex. Dont take dovato if youre allergic to any of its ingredients. Or if you take dofetilide. Hepatitis b can become harder to treat while taking dovato. Do not stop dovato without talking to your doctor,. As your hepatitis b may worsen or become lifethreatening. Serious or lifethreatening side effects can occur, including allergic reactions,. Lactic acid build up, and liver problems. If you have a rash and other symptoms of an allergic reaction,. Stop taking dovato and get medical help right away. Tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis b or c,. Or if you are, may be, or plan to be pregnant. Your doctor may prescribe a different medicine. Than dovato if you plan to be pregnant or if pregnancy is confirmed during the first trimester. Dovato may harm your unborn baby. Use effective Birth Control while taking dovato. Most common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping,. Tiredness, and anxiety. So much goes into who i am. Hiv medicine is one part of it. Ask your doctor about dovatoi did. Hiv medicine is one part of it. cat 2 flook at that cat 1 its made with real farmraised chicken cat 2 i gotta get my paws on that cat 1 its friskies farm favorites cat 2 the winning farmula. woman vo feed their fantasy. Friskies cat 1 look friskies ocean favorites yum sofi made it so easy to pay off my student loan debt. They were able to give me a personal loan so i could pay off all of my credit cards. I got my mortgage through sofi and the whole process was so easy. 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Youll be telling everybody about the new breakfast youre seeing at wendys. Hurry in for the breakfast of your dreams today. Asof being stretched too thinar to do my job right. And its not Just Health Care workers. Our teachers and school staff are going the extra mile for our kids. Our firefighters are taking on unthinkable missions to keep us safe. How can we keep giving billions in tax breaks to rich corporations when our communities need that money . Prop 15 closes corporate loopholes and invests in our schools, health care, and public safety. Help us do our jobs. Vote yes on 15. Hey, john. Hey, eric, whats up, man . Jimmy that is the Eric Andre Show. Yeah jimmy with attacker guest john cena. That didnt look like it felt great. No. John cena did the stunt right, but we did the we prepped for the stunt wrong, and that metal shelf came over and clocked me in the head and i got concussed. I went to the hospital. Jimmy you did . Yes. Jimmy how long after the show did you go to the hospital . I went to the hospital immediately. Jimmy oh, really . I had a fred flintstone, bugs bunny on the side of my head. They did a cat scan. I havent been able to speak english since. I memorized this interview phonetically. Jimmy youre lucky you shaved your head because you might not have known otherwise. I know, ricocheted off my afro. Jimmy you could have been killed by john cena. What other violent guests did you have on the show . We had Blake Griffin on the show. Jimmy Blake Griffin, yes. Detroit piston. Jimmy pistons now, right. The team named after a singleengine component. Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] why not the detroit engines . Or the detroit cars . Jimmy the motors. Motors get berry gordy down here now get eminem on the phone yeah, we pranked jimmy hes a funny guy, Blake Griffin. Funny guy. We tortured him. Its a prank show, we prank all our guests. And he told me afterwards, hes like, ive been on ive been less nervous in playoff games than ive been for your show, your show is so nerveracking. We had the chair fall backwards jimmy this might explain why hes not won any playoff games. [ laughter and applause ] next years his year, guys, come on. Jimmy you we had the chair tip backwards. We had two marines come out of the rafters. We were like i was like, look, its s. E. A. L. Team [ bleep ]. These two marines were [ bleep ] in front of him. Jimmy of course. Yeah. Jimmy sure. The thing about your show is, like when youre a guest on the show, which i have been, you know something is going to happen. Right. Jimmy so you go so its really your own fault when you show up. You just dont know exactly what is going to happen. Right. Well, he didnt even know most people dont even jimmy dont they watch the show beforehand . No, they dont do their research. They walk blindly i mean, what show is going to torture you when you get on . Its not like theyre watching researching any other show for like, is this guy going to torture me . Jimmy youd think word might get around. Youd be surprised. People still dont know. Jimmy wow. We were booking people that were like, i had no idea. Jimmy whos been the angriest afterwards . Lauren conrad walked off, t. I. Walked off. Jimmy right. This season, robin givens was upset. Jimmy she was . We had maggots and cockroaches coming at her, yeah. And her publicist was with her. Furious. And my second a. D. Was sending her publicist around we dont let any publicists in the studio. We keep them in a cage in the back. And the publicist was like, this interviews ending right now how do i get into the stage . And my second a. D. Was like sending her on a wild goose chase. Go to the left no, go around this door the other door youre sending me in circles i dont know how to get to the stage it was rough. It was intense. Put it that way. Jimmy i think i understand why you took four years between seasons. Yeah. Jimmy to give time for the dust to settle. Yes. Jimmy the guests to come back. Yes. Jimmy i look forward to seeing any highlights you want to guests you want to mention . Before we go . We had a lot of grammy awardwinning we had lizzo, anderson paak. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy if you want to see terrible things happen to lizzo and anderson paak, season 5 of the Eric Andre Show premieres sunday. So on adult swim. Be right back with tate mcrae. Thank you, eric. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Its following your passion to bto the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. Its following your passion to bto the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to Tracee Ellis Ross and eric andre. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next. First, with the song you broke me first, tate mcrae maybe you dont like talking too much about yourself but you shoulda told me that you were thinking bout someone else youre drunk at a party or maybe its just that your car broke down or your phones been off for a couple months so youre calling me now i know you youre like this when things dont go your way you needed me to fix it and like me i did but i ran out of every reason now suddenly youre asking for it back could you tell me whered you get the nerve you could say you miss all that we had but i dont really care how bad it hurts when you broke me first you broke me first took awhile was in denial when i first heard that you moved on quicker than i coulda ever you know that hurt swear for awhile i would stare at my phone just to see your name but now that its there i dont really know what to say i know you youre like this when things dont go your way you needed me to fix it and like me i did but i ran out of every reason now suddenly youre asking for it back could you tell me whered you get the nerve you could say you miss all that we had but i dont really care how bad it hurts when you broke me first you broke me first what did you think would happen what did you think would happen ill never let you have it what did you think would happen now suddenly youre asking for it back could you tell me whered you get the nerve you could say you miss all that we had but i dont really care how bad it hurts when you broke me first you broke me first you broke me first oh i was about 4 years old when i was brought over here to america. He grew up as an american kid, living the american dream. But after a few teenage mistakes, arrested, detained. Ive been incarcerated about 10 months now. Then deported. How does it keep americans safe by deporting a nonviolent teenage tore a country hes never lived in . We still have to follow the rule of law. Lost in a land hes never known. Our family isnt the same without him. So it has changed a lot. And worlds apart from his family. Told me, im thinking about you. Im thinking ab