hear that music? her smile so big sued a swifter for a toothbrush. former fox anchor patty ann brown. [applause] look at that. when he flies he never complains about leg room. fox news contributor johnny joey joe. she used to put rocks in her pockets on windy days. kat too. his shoe size is escalating. world heavyweight champion, tyrus. all right. before we get to some news stories you know what it s time for. yeah. greg s leftovers. em. it s leftovers. as always it s my first time reading these. a recent a.p. poll reveals a majority of democrats would not support a 2024 biden presidential campaign in the response joe said if he runs in 2024 he promises it will be a great first term. [applause] struggling retailer bed bath and beyond avoid bankruptcy after injection of $225 million in fun and unfortunately that shings to 180 million once creditors use their 20 percent off coup bobs. coupons are murder man. that s a lot. san francisco city supervisor suggested legaliz
this misery. i ve seen fire and i ve seen rain. i ve seen sunny days and i thought they d never end. gutfeld: this is one of those times when i envy marlee matlin sort of the actual terrorists are smart funny story. after 21 years, which is roughly how long it takes the president to, it appears the pentagon is open to the plea deal with the five masterminds behind 9/11 in exchange for a for life sentences the five will drop all appeals and agreed to substantial sentences in american prisons. or they get to choose what s behind door number two. you turned down. gutfeld: that s what al qaeda calls a couple of bodies. and even better, they are. at least that s what they claimed on goat tinder. but what timing. they re making deals with the 9/11 hijackers when we knew we would be distracted with 9/11 rated and then the head of the department of homeland security is creating new terrorists using the 21st anniversary to a great american s with the hijackers. the t
handsomeness of the messenger. [laughter] it must be like trying to read a book and a nude beach in sweden. sometimes i wish i was only so people would take me seriously. if they did what other people have over me. [snoring [laughter] the news industry is like san francisco after in deep doo-doo. according to this news site, not the greatest crater who stole my amex. news content is plummeting like skydiving with a malfunctioning rip cord. they blamed it on the public public shannon bream s little goody two-shoes for her team, i don t believe that for a second. gone 19% msnbc and fox news. told them it would have that effect, but they didn t listen. [laughter] it sucks until you read further. they skew towards and msnbc, which are down. fox ratings are up 12%. [cheers and applause] what the hell? why did you group them together and say they always on average when only two coded? that would be something he does with in the french army! claimed that cable ne
president of the united states call his predecessor a threat to this country. that s exactly what we heard tonight from president joe biden about donald trump and trumpism in his renewed battle for the soul of america campaign, this time ahead of the midterms. what is happening today in america, he says, is not normal. donald trump and the maga republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic. they promote authoritarian leaders and they fan the flames of political violence that are a threat to our personal rights, to the pursuit of justice, to the rule of law, to the very soul of this country. they look at the mob that stormed the united states capitol on january 6th, brutally attacking law enforcement, not as insurrectionists who placed a dagger at the throat of our democracy, but they look at them as patriots. and they see their maga failure to stop a peaceful transfer of power after the 2020 election as preparation for the 2022 and 2
[scattered applause] security is supposed to stop her at the door, who can say no to that smile? so is our friend from alaska, jamie lasalle. [scattered applause] sarah palin once said of jamie s career, i can t see it from my house or anybody else s. so what was one of the most repeated phrases in last few years to describe america? other than china s bitch? how about polarized? every expert in media crank says we are at each other s throats and maybe it s true if you re on a new york city subway, or worse, married to this. but for the most part, if you go to the gym, the supermarket, or the park, anywhere jamie sleeps, you ll see people getting along buried americans pretty much get by on the universal belief leave me alone unless i ask for help and i will do the same. if it s the same words kat says to her tapeworm. we know your secret. so why the perception that we hate each other? the belief comes from the top of a pile 50 feet high. press, which which is the least popul