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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170913

Senator ted cruzs twitter account last night liked a pornographic video about a woman who finds a couple having sex on her couch. Ew, gross, said the porn stars after hearing that ted cruz watched them. [ laughter and applause ] thats right. Ted cruzs twitter account was caught liking a pornographic post last night. Its the secondmost embarrassing thing cruz has been caught liking. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump will reportedly visit china in november. Oh, can you pick up my handbags, asked ivanka. [ laughter and applause ] in a recent interview with Time Magazine white house adviser Kellyanne Conway said that the key to her success is to, quote, think like a man and behave like a lady. Also dress like no one is watching. [ laughter and applause ] eric trump announced today that his wife has given birth to a baby boy. You know, we here at late night have made a lot of jokes about eric trump [ laughter ] congratulations, eric. The kangaroo population in australia has grown fr

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170913

Senator ted cruzs twitter account last night liked a pornographic video about a woman who finds a couple having sex on her couch. Ew, gross, said the porn stars after hearing that ted cruz watched them. [ laughter and applause ] thats right. Ted cruzs twitter account was caught liking a pornographic post last night. Its the secondmost embarrassing thing cruz has been caught liking. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump will reportedly visit china in november. Oh, can you pick up my handbags, asked ivanka. [ laughter and applause ] in a recent interview with Time Magazine white house adviser Kellyanne Conway said that the key to her success is to, quote, think like a man and behave like a lady. Also dress like no one is watching. [ laughter and applause ] eric trump announced today that his wife has given birth to a baby boy. You know, we here at late night have made a lot of jokes about eric trump [ laughter ] congratulations, eric. The kangaroo population in australia has grown fr

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170513

Father john misty, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 674. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey, everybody. Welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. I feel the love i feel the love. I give it back to you. Welcome to welcome to the tonight show, baby. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] weve got a big show tonight. Oh, my goodness. Im your host jimmy fallon. Hi, everybody. Guys, this sunday is mothers day, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] so happy mothers day to all the moms out there. And get this, i saw that hooters will be giving moms free entrees. [ laughter ] but before you take your mom to hooters on mothers day make sure you have a good playlist for the long silent car ride home. Thats my only that was weird. Actually i read that mothers day is the most popular holiday to go out to eat. Millions of moms taking 20 minutes to decide what to order, then getting the weirdest thing on the menu. Thats were at a diner

Transcripts For WRC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170513

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 674. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey, everybody. Welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. I feel the love i feel the love. I give it back to you. Welcome to welcome to the tonight show, baby. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] weve got a big show tonight. Oh, my goodness. Im your host jimmy fallon. Hi, everybody. Guys, thisun day, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] so happy mothers day to all the moms out there. And get this, i saw that hooters will be giving moms free entrees. [ laughter ] but before you take your mom to hooters on mothers day make sure you have a good playlist for the long silent car ride home. Thats my only that was weird. Actually i read that mothers day is the most popular holiday to go out to eat. Millions of moms taking 20 minutes to decide what to order, then getting the weirdest thing on the menu. Thats were at a diner. Why would you get the whole lobst

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20170708

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 674. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hey, everybody. Welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. I feel the love i feel the love. I give it back to you. Welcome to welcome to the tonight show, baby. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] weve got a big show tonight. Oh, my goodness. Im your host jimmy fallon. Hi, everybody. Guys, this sunday is mothers day, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] so happy mothers day to all the moms out there. And get this, i saw that hooters will be giving moms free entrees. [ laughter ] but before you take your mom to hooters on mothers day make sure you have a good playlist for the long silent car ride home. Thats my only [ applause ] that was weird. Actually i read that mothers day is the most popular holiday to go out to eat. Millions of moms taking 20 minutes to decide what to order, then getting the weirdest thing on the menu. Thats were at a diner. Why

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