now. reporter: we ve watched them struggle to find resources. he s falling apart. he s a mess. and i need help and i need help like two months ago. you don t feel like you can do it this morning? reporter: and battle to build a future for their sons. our story starts months before their worlds turn upside down on a warm summer evening in new york city where eric and mary are out on their weekly date. eric s in the congo, nothing can go wrong-o. he s not afraid, not afraid, not afraid he s not afraid, not afraid, not afraid, not afraid. reporter: over dinner, eric and his mother talk about his upcoming birthday. and now you re a big guy. that s right. reporter: in a few months, eric will turn 21, the age when people with disabilities are no longer eligible for help through the education system. you re a big boy. and really becoming a young man. you ll be a young man. yes. yeah. reporter: it wasn t so long ago that eric was a little boy,
reporter: new york state says it s helping more and more people with developmental disabilities lead increasingly independent lives. it says it s in the process of shutting down those sheltered workshops and trying to help people find jobs. ruth can sing a peanut butter sandwich made with jam. i had always thought when he got older i had this vague idea that he would have some kind of a job and that it would be over. and i am only adjusting now over the last two years in this transition period to understand that it s never going to be over. as long as i m alive, i will be caring for eric. reporter: being a champion for someone who has a developmental disability can be draining. studies show a higher incidence of depression among parents and caregivers. six months after eric s graduation, mary is struggling. reporter: when i think about you being with him day in and day out and having the special relationship that you do. it s wonderful but i also know it must be so hard day t
i built lessons. put together a daily plan for him. this is how it is set up for adults. you graduate and all education stops. and eric is nowhere near finished with his education. reporter: eric s parents are also paying out of pocket for activities to get him out of the house. he has a gym membership, a music therapy class, and a companion to take him places. but it all comes at a staggering cost. do you have any idea how much money you ve spent on care for eric? probably our least expensive year has been about $40,000. and the higher ones have been around $90. reporter: $90,000 dollars? for a year? yeah. we haven t been able to save any money. we don t have any retirement. but it s kind of like when people ask me, how much does it cost to raise a kid with autism? everything you ve got. reporter: for nick, there s
adults with autism. i had wanted to put him at one of the local ys. they said they had a special needs program. it turns out now they only go to 14. this is a phrase i hear from agency, program, center, all the time. reporter: on the day after his 21st birthday, eric walks into school for the last time. bye eric! no, sabrina. you re not done yet! wait until 2016. that s so far away! right now we re in 2012. it s really tough. i wish we had more of a plan for eric. reporter: joshua rich, eric s head teacher, says the day is even more difficult because eric is the first student to age out of the rebecca school. we ve brought him so far and then we re leaving him in uncertain position, which is really upsetting. here s your artwork. want to put that in your backpack? reporter: eric wants a quiet ending. no graduation ceremony, no
time. reporter: did you miss it? oh i was heartsick. reporter: but then on the other hand i m sure you would do absolutely anything for your son. of course. that s what was happening. i couldn t say no to any possiblity of help for him. you know, i just saw so much potential. i knew this kid had so much in him, that any help that he needed, i, we gave to him. reporter: the symptoms of autism are measured on a spectrum. eric is roughly in the middle. there are many people who are far more challenged, like nickolas kubicsko. his story starts at home on new york s long island, where he lives with his parents and sister. nick doesn t speak, and spends large parts of his days watching disney movies, something his mom lenore says he does repetitively. nick is watching his favorite scene in the whole world right now. the flavor of the month is 101 dalmatians. it s a few seconds long when he actually lets the scene play, he