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Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150424

Sit up straight this is the the nightly show cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central yeah thank you very much thank you thank you very much audience chanting larry larry larry, larry larry, larry. Welcome to the the nightly show. Im Larry Wilmore. We have a couple of great alist celebrities on the show tonight. cheers and applause thats right, man we have kevin pollak and oscar winner monique hey, baby a lot to get to tonight, but first things first. Its time for crazy preacher time roundup. Crazy preacher time round up larry i just love that. Lets check in with an old friend of mine. You know, this is a little embarrassing. I forgot his name. Kimye yolo . Groupon roku . Thats not quite it. Oh, i got it, i got it venmo surfboardt dammit what was it again . No, its got money in it. Teflon nickel . Pastor Creflo Dollar. Larry Creflo Dollar all right i was 95 cents away how could i forget that name . Thats right, Creflo Dollar, the only Mega Church Pastor to get his nam

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150319

Getting in yours, all right. Here, how do you like that. Making some coffee right here. Come on, coffee. [laughter] its going to be there starbucks, all right. Do you know whats happening right now, youre losing a dollar a second right now, right. Looks like somebodys going to have to explain race and profit losses to their shareholders, all right. Seriously, do we really expect some poor barista to handle a conversation on racial politics . Thats a lot of pressure. Who are they going to get, cornel west . [laughter] i mean no offense professor west, i know you can handle a delicate race conversation but i dont know if you can handle the delicate ins and outs of my quad grande nonfat extra hot carmel upside down macchiato. Which i just made, starbucks. Turning now to our top story tonight. Weve got to talk about that jesus jet. I took a blood sworn oath. This is atlanta based mega church in the firing line after urging its mechanics to fund a new gulfstream jet for its controversial le

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150425

Yeah thank you very much thank you thank you very much audience chanting larry larry larry, larry larry, larry. Welcome to the the nightly show. Im Larry Wilmore. We have a couple of great alist celebrities on the show tonight. cheers and applause thats right, man we have kevin pollak and oscar winner monique hey, baby a lot to get to tonight, but first things first. Its time for crazy preacher time roundup. Crazy preacher time round up larry i just love that. Lets check in with an old friend of mine. You know, this is a little embarrassing. I forgot his name. Kimye yolo . Groupon roku . Thats not quite it. Oh, i got it, i got it venmo surfboardt dammit what was it again . No, its got money in it. Teflon nickel . Pastor Creflo Dollar. Larry Creflo Dollar all right i was 95 cents away how could i forget that name . Thats right, Creflo Dollar, the only Mega Church Pastor to get his name from a list of rejected star wars characters, is back sorry. Im just having a little goodnatured fun w

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150424

Physicist. Astrophysicist. Neil Degrasse Tyson is going to be joining us. And he will explain. cheers and applause he will explain in great detail why 99 times out of 100 superman would kick the living bleep out of batman. cheers and applause superman he can fly. Hes invincible. But first i hope everybodys recovered from their earth day hangovers and cleaned the vomit and good intentions off their jeans. laughter earth day. Earth day by far the most popular of the planetary birthday celebrations. laughter again, my apologies to uranus. laughter we laughter i might be pronouncing that wrong, but we certainly did not mean to forget your birthday last year. I hope this card finds you well. laughter applause cheers , of course, though, no matter how much we kissed its ass the earth continues to act out. Jolingses in oklahoma geologists in oklahoma say recent small earthquakes in that state are very likely triggered by the underground disposal of wasted water from oil and gas wells. That ar

Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150320

[chanting larry larry] very nice, thank you. Exact same thing i say in the mirror every morning. Wellal to the nightly show im larry wilmore. Question. When you order starbucks how do you like it, grande, venti, double shot of awkward conversation. Star bucks new campaign its call race together. You get a cup of coffee and they write race together. They want their baristas to engage in their customers in this bigger conversation about race. Hold on starbucks, youre talking about race. Thats what we do on the nightly show. All right. You getting in my business im getting in yours, all right. Here, how do you like that. Making some coffee right here. Come on, coffee. [laughter] its going to be there starbucks, all right. Do you know whats happening right now, youre losing a dollar a second right now, right. Looks like somebodys going to have to explain race and profit losses to their shareholders, all right. Seriously, do we really expect some poor barista to handle a conversation on rac

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